.email. :: .ciara. :: .mike. :: .mar. :: .dan. :: .jackie. :: .rob. :: .kendra. :: .john. :: .juli. :: .tim.


What was I really looking for
09:33 p.m. on Tuesday, September 30, 2003

You took your coat off and stood in the rain, you're always crazy like that...

So let me just say that today was **AMAZING**. It was the All-Catholic workshop of the CENTURY. I went with Ciara, Jess, Christine, Maura, Christy, Rachel, Eliza, Caity, and a bunch of froshies. We spent the carride reading 101 sex tips from cosmo. hahahahahahhaa. We got there and sat with.. THE LASALLE BOYS. oh yes. Joey, John, Shaatzy, Matt, Dave, Chris, Andrew, and Paul. Amazing amazing boys. I love them all like brothers. Well... but anyways. We had this *amazing* woman there named Jeannie and she's a skat singer. AND SHE TAUGHT US TO SKAT SING. Oh man. Amazing. Then she asked for singing volunteers, and me, ciara, rachel, christine, maura, and elisa (6/16 of a cappella) decided to do "in the jungle." IT SUCKED. but no one knew how bad we did and we got a lot of compliments. Then we broke for lunch and me, Christine and maura ate with the Malvern guys. They were really really funny, and one of them was the guy whose house we stayed at last year for all-catholic (he's a frosh now). So they were really cool... then we actually did 15 minutes of the all-catholic music. THEN... THE PINNICLE OF MY LIFE. This extremely flamboyant man starts talking about this dance workshop, and eventually gives everyone music to "luck be a lady" and moves all the chairs.. AND MAKES US DANCE. it was sooooooo hilarious. the dance was FLAMING FLAMING FLAMING and so was he and i was dying laughing. and if that wasn't funny enough, he decides to go and say:

"I'm going to turn your hearts of stone into PIZAAZ."

I thought I was going to die laughing. Everyone fell over CRACKING UP. OH MAN. Okay so some more fun quotes:

Christine: "...Deep throating!"
Dr. Myers: "That doesn't float my boat."

"Don't turn heads, break necks! Get breast augmentations today!" -- Add in "Cosmopolitan"

Dr Myers: "Oh, OOOOHHHHHHHH"

"Gentlemen, sing this HEAVILY, if you get my drift." -- Flamboyant Man


So today was AMAZING. Then A Cappella was fun as usual, good practice but i SUCK at the solo. Badly. I'm gonna go write now... ta ta


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:59 p.m. on Saturday, September 27, 2003

"Joe, I need your help on something since your an expert on love."
"Sure. My wife left me for another woman and my girlfriend made me leave at gunpoint. Does that qualify me?"
"Definitely. I've decided that today's the day I tell Corey that I love her..............................so how do I do that?"
(pause)
"You say I love you."


If I could tell you one thing
Then I'd tell you everything
I'd probably say that you've been on my mind
Since we held hands out in the rain
Smoking cigarettes to play
Off all the butterflies I had inside

And now I think that you should know
That you've got everything
That I've wanted for so damn long
And that I wouldn't hesitate to trade away everything
If you tell me that I'm not wrong
So know I think that you should know
That I've been waiting for you

Since we sat underneath the stars
as I held you in my arms
Killing just another summer night

It's funny how the best things happen sometimes
And how I'll always remember those endless nights
But don't forget I regret the fact that I have to leave you
Right as the best part starts
So I thought I'd take the time to say



And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:09 p.m. on Saturday, September 27, 2003

Maybe my wish knew better than I did...

Friday = first Gw/G rehearsal. Went extremely well... I basically just freestyled my way through "I'm a believer." Then I heard "Ghost"... that song gets me everytime. BUT its gets better. Halfway through Biology, loudspeaker comes on with 88.5WXP (?i cant rememebr the letters!) and plays "Ghost"... BY GIRLS WITH GUITARS. I'm almost died. It was *amazing*. And ON THE FREAKING RADIO. TAKE THAT you locals who only dream of such things.. mwahaha I feel evil. But anyways, I was so excited, since we're gonna be recording in the studio more this year (!!!!). Then I went over "True Colors" with Mr. F and Lisa walks in and tells me to play my "hit song" at gwynedd, "Oh Angel." And so I do. And Mr. F *loves* it and wants Gw/G to do it. Maybe. I had my head in the clouds ALL DAY. Amazing amazing amazing. Oh lordy. Then the rest of the night was like shit...everyone bitter and uggh I don't wanna think about it. But I had mucho fun at Ciara's...we watched "better of dead" with the guys. Then we jumped on the trampoline, listened to jess and dave talk, watched pat jump, and talked to megan about last summer. good night, good night. So tonight is a JAM SESSION. With Joey and Rachel. And Brian and Sonya. *does happy dance* should be *amazing*, specially with the new studio system downstairs, and my "coffee house" atmosphere. AND MY FUCKING IBANEZ. That I'm officially in love with. And today, took the SATs (ahhh) then went to Gw/G rehearsal. So new guitarist...Mrs. S. told Laura, Rae, and Lisa not to "influence my opinion" of him and sent me to take a peek. NEW GUITARIST. WITH SIDEBURNS. THAT PLAYS GUITAR. Oh man. oh man. and i'm gonna go do latin now and get ready to rock and roll. wow that sounded shitty.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:29 p.m. on Wednesday, September 24, 2003

feel frustration sometimes when the words don't come out right footprints in the sand reveal to me the passing of my life...

what an odd week. i've had liturgical music every morning, a cappella tuesday night, glee club, chorale, and play practice tonight, and girls with guitars friday morning. add that to literary magazine, writing club, CSC, and BAM.. caitlin's on overload. this week's just been.. blah. for some reason, i've been randomly crying, thinking a lot, drawing, writing, composing and all the other stuff that comes with the territory. today was freaking MERCY DAY and i couldn't smile. well sometimes, i could. but everyone around me was dancing with their groups of friends and i realized how alone i felt and how alone i was. i need my music. it's become my life. everything is music to me.. i dont want academics, oh no, please no. i need my music like i need the air. and if i don't get it, i go insane. and that's NOT good. then back-to-school night, i'm pulling freaking A's and I'm still getting shit that I'm not "doing my best." And then since I'm working and performing so freaking much, I don't have time to eat. And this bothers my mother, so she threatens to PULL ME OUT OF MUSIC GROUPS unless i eat. and i *can't* cuz i'm not hungry. ever. well.. u get it. at least after school was good. at chorale, i was forced to play "oh angel," "game over," "always be there," and "new york sky" for the altos, and we might actually record one of my original songs on the new album for the band at school. this excited me a little. then practice was great as usual. will and i perfected our crazy dancing. then i got home and talked to joey on the phone. oh god, i miss him so much.. the shows not the same without him and something missing ever since we had to stop our jam sessions cuz of school. but the mixer is friday, and a possible studio session may happen tomrrow. hopefully i can feel better about stuff, and stop doubting my feelings. I hope I figure out what I want soon.. before I combust. But some things, well, I guess you just can't say them.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
05:37 p.m. on Monday, September 22, 2003

KWLaxgrl87 (5:19:04 PM): caitlin
map of stars (5:19:06 PM): kendra
KWLaxgrl87 (5:19:11 PM): did you write that poem in your profile?
map of stars (5:19:24 PM): i wish
map of stars (5:19:27 PM): edgar allen poe
KWLaxgrl87 (5:19:31 PM): lol oh
map of stars (5:19:38 PM): but im trying to write a decent one
map of stars (5:19:44 PM): he is so my poetry god haha
KWLaxgrl87 (5:19:45 PM): i was gonna go commit suicide because i am talentless
map of stars (5:19:48 PM): hahahahhaah
map of stars (5:19:52 PM): so am I compared to that
KWLaxgrl87 (5:19:55 PM): lol
map of stars (5:20:43 PM): study kicked ass today
KWLaxgrl87 (5:20:56 PM): YEAH it did
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:05 PM): that is by far my absolute favorite study
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:13 PM): excpet i got NOTHING done
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:19 PM): and failed the latin quiz
map of stars (5:21:20 PM): hahahahaha
map of stars (5:21:22 PM): OMG me too
map of stars (5:21:27 PM): i didn't study or define those words
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:29 PM): i wrote spes for about half of them
map of stars (5:21:29 PM): so i made a few up
map of stars (5:21:31 PM): hahaha
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:33 PM): lol
map of stars (5:21:33 PM): spes = hope
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:39 PM): yeah, didnt know that
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:51 PM): wrote it for like army, brief
KWLaxgrl87 (5:21:53 PM): and a few more
map of stars (5:21:58 PM): hahahahaha
KWLaxgrl87 (5:22:05 PM): you would think at least ONE of them would be spes
KWLaxgrl87 (5:22:07 PM): but noooooooooo
map of stars (5:22:15 PM): hahhaahahha
map of stars (5:22:18 PM): i made up words
map of stars (5:22:24 PM): breif i knew from a mass i sang
map of stars (5:22:31 PM): but um young? was youngus, -a, -um
map of stars (5:22:45 PM): audax? was loud
map of stars (5:22:46 PM): hahahhaa
KWLaxgrl87 (5:22:51 PM): hahahaha
KWLaxgrl87 (5:23:07 PM): lol we're the latin QUEENS
KWLaxgrl87 (5:23:11 PM): REGINAE!
KWLaxgrl87 (5:23:19 PM): why wasnt that on her fucking quiz?
map of stars (5:23:25 PM): hahahahha
map of stars (5:23:27 PM): I KNOW
map of stars (5:23:33 PM): new word
map of stars (5:23:35 PM): FUCKUS
map of stars (5:23:37 PM): -A, -UM
KWLaxgrl87 (5:23:46 PM): FUCKUS LA BLETTAM
KWLaxgrl87 (5:24:01 PM): ET HER HUGE-US ASSUS
map of stars (5:24:01 PM): its be fucka
map of stars (5:24:07 PM): she's feminie... i think
KWLaxgrl87 (5:24:11 PM): lol
KWLaxgrl87 (5:24:14 PM): NEUTER
map of stars (5:24:28 PM): HAHAHAHA
KWLaxgrl87 (5:24:33 PM): lolol
map of stars (5:24:43 PM): FUCKUM MAGISTRAM ET GLUDIOS MAXIMUS
KWLaxgrl87 (5:24:49 PM): hahahahahaha
map of stars (5:25:01 PM): i think im getting latin now
KWLaxgrl87 (5:25:16 PM): i like how she comes in, and says salvate puellae
KWLaxgrl87 (5:25:23 PM): and we just stare at her
map of stars (5:25:32 PM): hahahahhaa me too
KWLaxgrl87 (5:25:39 PM): occasionally we make an effort of mumble some jibberish in coherantly
map of stars (5:25:41 PM): and she's like "you guys get it?" all hopeful and we're like "no."
KWLaxgrl87 (5:25:57 PM): NO BITCHUM
map of stars (5:25:57 PM): we should all say the "ave maria" REALLY OUD
map of stars (5:26:01 PM): *loud
map of stars (5:26:02 PM): like shout it
map of stars (5:26:07 PM): and she'll be all scared
KWLaxgrl87 (5:26:23 PM): hahhaha she'd like run out of the room
KWLaxgrl87 (5:26:25 PM): andCRY
map of stars (5:26:32 PM): lol
map of stars (5:26:44 PM): we shouldn't talk for a day
map of stars (5:26:49 PM): like not answer, jsut stare aahead
KWLaxgrl87 (5:26:52 PM): she left the room today and jackie was like she went to get more tissues
KWLaxgrl87 (5:26:54 PM): lololol
map of stars (5:26:56 PM): and recite that damn preposition paper
KWLaxgrl87 (5:26:58 PM): the latin drones
map of stars (5:27:02 PM): just chant it
KWLaxgrl87 (5:27:03 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAH
map of stars (5:27:15 PM): AD CUM DEAM or whatever the hell is on that
KWLaxgrl87 (5:27:20 PM): lololol cate i seriously just laughed hysterically out lous
KWLaxgrl87 (5:27:33 PM): *loud
map of stars (5:27:37 PM): hahaha hooray!
KWLaxgrl87 (5:27:44 PM): and sometimes ab and cum take the accusative
map of stars (5:28:03 PM): i've never even looked at the paper. ever.
KWLaxgrl87 (5:28:04 PM): lol we'll say that and just sit there and drool on ourselves
map of stars (5:28:07 PM): hahahaha
map of stars (5:28:11 PM): and stare ahead
KWLaxgrl87 (5:28:15 PM): lol by the time i find it, the chant is over
KWLaxgrl87 (5:28:17 PM): lolol
KWLaxgrl87 (5:28:19 PM): oh mannnnnnnnnnn
KWLaxgrl87 (5:28:25 PM): FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY
map of stars (5:28:42 PM): "ab cum coram..." "GIRLS! THE LOCATIVE!" ".. all other prepositions take the accusative..." *runs out of room sobbing*
KWLaxgrl87 (5:29:23 PM): LOLOLOLOL
KWLaxgrl87 (5:29:34 PM): hahahahahahahha
KWLaxgrl87 (5:29:44 PM): im about to piss myself
map of stars (5:29:53 PM): hahahaha i heart u kendra
KWLaxgrl87 (5:29:59 PM): lololol
KWLaxgrl87 (5:30:05 PM): i heart you too
KWLaxgrl87 (5:30:08 PM): and your latin humor
map of stars (5:30:13 PM): mwahaha
KWLaxgrl87 (5:30:31 PM): we are evillllllllllll
KWLaxgrl87 (5:30:41 PM): i want to like leave this conversation on her desk
KWLaxgrl87 (5:30:49 PM): she should buy stock in Kleenex
map of stars (5:31:02 PM): hahahhahaa YES
map of stars (5:31:07 PM): im so putting this in the journal
KWLaxgrl87 (5:31:08 PM): lol
map of stars (5:31:11 PM): just for kicks
KWLaxgrl87 (5:31:51 PM): hahahaha
KWLaxgrl87 (5:31:53 PM): niceeee

how bitter are we? jackie would agree. STUDY TODAY WAS AMAZING. hahaha how come everbody was so trashed this weekend?? hmm. but yay for martha and my straight-edge ness. we can just PRETEND to be drunk. and so it goes. this weekend - mixer, d-town, emo boys scouting (not my words at all. hahahhaha) oh man. wow. hoo.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
07:02 p.m. on Sunday, September 21, 2003

So last night was the massive date-like thing. hmm. jess and i were twins. then upon reaching the mall, we lose kate and karl, so the 4 of us go to build-a-bear. fucking amazing place. you can spend like $5468390670 there.. and dave found plush couches for "the higher class bear." then we went ton buy tickets to see underworld but they were checking tickets so we saw.. SECOND HAND LIONS. whoa. 2nd row. dave was psychic. and we made fun of haley joel osment's ass. then we found kate and karl, and chilled. fun night. specially when me and this black guy did the heel-toe. oh lord.

rehearsal was awesomt today. i forgot shaazty's CD. AGAIN. but he still sang for me, and now i owe him a song. we got to dance and Will and I were so confused, but finally got it. It's odd tho; the boys kick over us, pull us through their legs then pick us up and bend us backwards. kinda scary. but fun! worked on the songs. acted crazy like. yea its gwynedd. so school tomrorow, mixer on friday, rehearsals and crap during the week. another week in my life. maybe working on the demo..

"this feeling of frustration is getting to me now, I think i'll try to run away..."


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
02:37 p.m. on Saturday, September 20, 2003

"Go Sira! Go Sira!"
"INTERCEPTION! *clap*"
--MTV's DisMissed

Oh man. Last night the best night of soph year so far. And possibly one of the best mixers I've ever been to. My little boy is all grown up and 16 now! haha.. i made mike a degrassi picture book w/ all of his friends as the cast and his favorite episodes. hopefully he'll cherish it. at the dance, met up w/ the crew (ciara, jess, jeana, kimball, beth) and some awesome froshies! oh man. chatted w/ mr. daniels and got to see a lot of people I haven't seen since last year. dan wore his pedophile glasses.. oh lord.. mothers, hide your children. quickly. it was wonderful seeing him after so long.. great guy, he is. and aaron too.. very nice kid. got a tape with 'red letter day' which just made my night. and mike.. oh lord i've never seen that boy get so much ass haha. what a pimp.

So today should be fun.. had the SAT course and i apparently got an 1130 on the fake one i took. Is that good? hmm. i hope. but anyways -- movies tonight w/ jess, kate, ed, dave, and karl. hmm. katie called our motley bunch "the cult." interessante. but VAMPIRE MOVIE. should be hot. and domsky and i decided it's official. the band has begun. lock your doors and bolt your windows. and wear earplugs. heavy duty.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:24 p.m. on Wednesday, September 17, 2003

so this week's been good. i made the show.. and not just chorus.. i have a LEAD ROLE. Wow. I'm Mary Kenny, the little Virgin Mary of the group. AMAZING. Mike's a priest that wants to molest me (hahaha). meg's an airhead, shaatzy's this annoying kid (AND.. he SERENADES me in this dream sequence, and we get to dance! oh yes), will is a sex fiend, matt is a midget basketball player, Maureen (who is a STICK) is the fat girl, Kenny is the lead guy, and Kelly is the tomboy. Then there's the nuns, and chorus people, and its wonderful cuz my friends are in it. And between our Wawa and Chick-Fil-A trips, and our dance parties and Godspell sing-a-longs... i hope it'll be good. there's a little bit of "controversy" but its to be expected with any show. so everybody come!

So Friday is MIKE'S BIRTHDAY. And the mixer? which i believe i am going to celebrate mikail's sweet 16. then sunday.. more rehearsal! i look forward to it now, and so do the other girls b/c 1) fun times 2) BOYS IN OUR SCHOOL. mwahahaha.

Hahaha people oblivious to when other people are pissed at them make me laugh. oh this weekend will be interesting to say the least...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
08:40 p.m. on Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Wow I haven't updated in like ages. Well a lot has happened. So let me share. Monday at school, my French teacher started singing "Lady Marmalade" in the middle of class, and made the class go around saying "je prefere une douche." oh wow. in 6th period bio, mrs saunders decides to share that if you ever forget anything, bill cosby says to touch ur ass and you'll remember (and she swears it works). THEN in theology, miss clarke has a teddy bear named Beezlebubb. yeaa....

Tuesday was good too, not as random, but good nonetheless. I stayed after school and did homework w/ Jess, then Christine drove me, Elisa, Kat, and Bridget to Wawa for some dinner. Lunchables and Capri Sun all the way. Remember that. Then we got back and went to *A CAPPELLA*. I'm so thrilled to be a part of it. 16 girls, and I'm 1. What an honor. Then we all started the A Cappella Snap Cups (snaps for maura for that one) and all got our a cappella animals for the jungle.

I happen to be the OSTRICH.

And Ciara is a hamster, Colleen is a groundhog, and Kimball is a caterpiller. Wow. Learned 3 songs, and I'm auditioning for the solo. Against.. no one? Hmmm...

The today was AMAZING. Try out for the play.. I was extremely nervous, but the vocal lady was so nice PLUS she sang at the Cardinal's mass (which I also sang at). I think I did well on the first song, and alright on the second. But I'm hoping badly that I get a part. Or even make it. Got to hang out w/ Michael and Ciara, my BESTEST friends. I miss Ciara so much now since we don't have any classes togteher. Oh thats another story. Dr. Myers decided I was "born with musicianship" and bumped me up to the Junior's music class (music 2). wow. hmmm. kinda hard, but im up for it. and im in a class w/ christina, maura, lis, kat.. oh man its awesome. Back to Mike now. We had a lotta poo time, played volleyball, he was pimpin it, and we talked a lot. I'm extremely pissed off at a certain person. It's really funny that they actually think that I care in the least about them. HAHAHAHA. well maybe i do. but still - i'm pissed. oh well. got home, talked to ed, and now i'm doing homework and i shall update later. goodbye dolls


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
07:18 p.m. on Thursday, September 4, 2003

well well. sophomores. i see. today was pretty damn good for a first day back from summer. caught up w/ everybody that i missed this summer. and got a *killer* schedule.

hmrm: mrs saunders
1 - hon french 2 - sr susan
2 - english 10 - mr czulada
3 - music 1 - dr myers
4 - hon algebra 2 - mrs ziga
5 - lunch.. oh yea we've got the *sweeeetest* lunch ever
6 - biology - mrs saunders
7 - latin 2 - ms la bletta
8 - theology 10 - miss clarke

ANDDD... i've got jackie, ashley, kendra, jess, mar, and like the whole freaking soph class in my lunch. PLUS me + k-love + goose + sbob + fred = in a lottttt of classes together. oh yes.. NO MAAS. so i guess i don't have a brother this year, huh?? the first thing i said to kim was "kim! i have your brothers clothes. wait.." and we reminisced about the reign fo cate and allyson back in june.. good times, girls, vicious though. talked to martha and kendra bout the red hot chili peppers concert.. hopefully we're all going. that'd be hot. PLUS i hear that the lasalle mixer is the 26th now so i can go to mike's birthday mixer :-D. then after school, got my hair "lowlighted" and its dark red-brown (auburn?). very sweet. so i'm out.. SAT homework uggh at least im w/ the goose in the course thank god. ill catch you guys later.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:52 a.m. on Wednesday, September 3, 2003

"Breaking into hopes of swimming pools, and reeking havoc on our world/Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time/The black top’s singing me to sleep/Lighting fireworks in parking lots, illuminate the blackest nights/Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky/2015 Riverside, it’s time to say goodbye" -- The Ataris

 So i guess today is the last day of summer. And I hate tonight. The last night of summer, I'll probly be outside, sitting on the porch, looking at the stars and thinking how wasted this summer was to me. I had my good times, I had my great time, I had the bad and the unbearable. But idk what it is about this summer that's hanging over me and I just feel... dissapointed to say the least.

June was pretty hopeful, and Steubenville changed me for the better. I met some of the best people I will ever meet in my life, and I got time to myself without the stress of parents and summer work to stop and think about who I was. A big downer was the lack of concerts I went to, thanks to 1) location 2) time and 3) my age. That sucked a lot. But I changed my own style too. My lovey-piano-ballads that got me the name at GMA and LS kinda faded into a more angry cate style. I still dont know why.

A high point of this summer, however, was the people. Think back, to June 6th, my last day of school. And now, to September 3rd, the day before my first day of sophomore year. To all the people I've known this summer: I may have known you before the summer, or not. We may have become great friends, or we might not have. Things might not have worked out between us, like love or inevitable differences. But to all those people that I now know and love and cherish as friends.. thank you. You're in my heart.

For some people, summer wasn't great. It was only a time of heartache, grief, pain, and belief of worthlessness. And to those people -- I'm always here for you, and you aren't worthless in my eyes.

So here we are. I guess I'm bittersweet about this. And there's really no way to end this entry but to say:

"hey, thanks, thanks for that summer."


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:52 p.m. on Monday, September 1, 2003

Summer '03. Memories. Here's some good times to remember.


The young apostles...

my hair...

CAN YOU HEAR MY NOW --> the crew of '03

sonya looks scared...

Cate + Rae = female TMBG oh yes...and happy sonya...

She can play it! I swear!

The female TMBG.......and joey

LINNELL...i mean, Rachel...

oh god

holler. ?

good times...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
04:15 p.m. on Monday, September 1, 2003

good birthday. very good. i've got my own coffee shop downstairs (tables + chairs + a lot of cleaning + food) and the music (3 guitars, 2 keyboards, amp, mic + stand). this should be interesting. got some nifty stuff. went to ed's and watched empire records. amazing movie.

saturday was great. went to joey's and played guitar, danced, swam, and had trampoline fun. he's too good at the backflips.. much too good.. i did a front flip after like 30 minutes of preparation haha. watched "fairly odd parents" which is possibly the greatest cartoon. next to simpsons. and family guy. and .. yea u get the picture. it was a great way to end summer. we even murdered a moth (i feel bad guys) by putting it in the tornado thingy and wtaching it spin (guys.. its dead!). hmm. that was pretty bad. BUT this week.. OH MAN. party tonight, eh math toorrow, PARTY WEDNESDAY oh yea a cappella will kick major ass this year, i know it, thursday school.. AND THURSDAY, i shall be the proud owner of red and brown hair, thank you very much. finally. and this weekend, me + joey w and nick r + polish festival + (in the words of joey) a SICK jared haselbarth show. should be fun. the CD is very sweet. and mike's birthday in a few weeks.. debating about the mixers. i'm kind of obligated to go to lasalle (ed, joey, pat, matt, all my friends) BUT it's mike's birthday, plus a chance to see dan, sean, aaron whom i haven't seen in ages. ahh. oh well we'll see how everything goes. well im out now.. STILL AWAITING A HEARTFELT ENTRY *HINT* (maybe people DO read this journal..)


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:03 p.m. on Saturday, August 30, 2003

so tonight is the end of summer party. and i hafta say.. summer was kinda disappointing this year. even tho i had great times w/ my friends, for some reason, it doesn't come close to last summer. a lot has changed since then. friends, love, family.. everything is changing. change is good though, and I have high expectations for this coming year. I've learned a lot about myself and want a fresh start. Laur and i were debating about concerts to go to.. TSL or Alk3? and red hot chili peppers or no? idk. i love concerts. scary to think my first was BSB: The Millenium Tour. What a joke. Although I am still ashamed of my newfound love for the song "tearin up my heart." nsync? mwahahaha. i really do think that pop died into poprock, but indie, emo, and hardcore stuff are all coming strong. i love how music changes over the years. i guess my dad was always interested in it, so i kinda ended up like that too. i wanna write a song.. peace out buddies, and check out my awesome quiz below.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
12:28 p.m. on Saturday, August 30, 2003

yea i stole this from mike..

-*-*StArT*-*-
What time is it?: 12:30 PM
What is the date?: 08/30/03
Why are you filling this out?: im procrastinating from doing math

-*-*YoU yOu YoU*-*-
Full name: Caitlin Elizabeth Cecilia
Do you like it?: i guess
Nicknames: Cate, Caite, Catie, Caterina, OT, covert cobert, obertthorn, poo
If you could change your first name, what would it be?: Lena middle name?: Lux
Age: ill be 15 tomorrow
DOB: August 31, 1988
Height: 5'7"
Hair colour: blonde
Eye colour: blue
Where do you live?: montgomeryville.. the fake town
Do you like it there?: no
Why/Why not: nothing to do...
Where were you born?: abington
Astrological sign: virgo
Shoe Size: 8
Grade: 10th
GPA: hahahaha
School: gwynedd

-*-*FaMiLy*-*-
Parents names: mark and cathy
Do you have any siblings?: nope
If so, what are their names and ages?:
Are your parents divorced/remarried/single?: married
Pets: nope
Names:
Do you like your family?: at times
Favorite relative: my cousins are all pretty cool

-*-*FaVoRiTeS*-*-
Number: 32
Color: dark red
Car: go-karts kick ass
Season: summer
Holiday: halloween
Month: July
Day of the week: Saturday
Grade so far: 5th grade was pretty awesome
Sport: field hockey
Class: english was fun...
Teacher: clug and dr myers
Drink: chai tea
Candy: reese's
Food: japanese food!
Fruit: strawberries
Veggie: carrots
Dessert: mint chocolate chip ice cream
TV show: That 70's Show
Radio station: q102
CD: "a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar" by dashboard confessional, "living outside" by sense field, "scarlet's walk" by tori amos, "dizzy up the girl" by goo goo dolls
Movie: empire records.. HANDS DOWN.
Actor: orlandoooo hahaha pat
Actress: not sure
Song: WAYYY too many.. but currently: "the lines of my earth" by sixpence none the richer, "on your own" by sense field, "several ways to die trying" by dashboard confessional, "new york city" by they might be giants
Word: antidisestablishmentarianism.. riight
Phrase: you're a winner!
Animal: hmm
Flower: rose
Clothing store: pac sun i guess
Article of clothing: jeans
Underwear: yes?
State (that you've been to): rhode island
Ice cream flavor: mint chocolate chip
Breakfast food: not a big fan of breakfast
Way to have fun: hanging out with friends! jam sessions.. that one goes out to rae, joey, brian, and sonya

-*-*ThIs Or ThAt*-*-
Me/You: you
AOL/AIM: AIM
CD/Cassette: cd
DVD/VCR: dvd
Radio/CD: CD
Slow dance/Freak dance: combination
Jeans/Khakis: jeans
Jacket/Coat: jacket
Leather/Pleather: pleather
Sparkles/Bronze: eh sparkles.. what can i say
Sexy/Hot: hexy. or sot.
Car/Truck: car
Civic/Acura: acura
Corvette/Camero: corvette
Strong/Weak: strong
Upset/Pissed: pissed
Tall/Short: tall
Lunch/Dinner: dinner
Abercrombie/Hollister: hollister
Gap/Old Navy: old navy
Nsync/BSB: tough one.. im not sure
Britney/Christina: please no.. i guess christina
Love/Lust: love
Gone In 60 Seconds/The Fast and the Furious: fast and furious
Inside/Outside: inside
Lipstick/Lipgloss: chapstick all the way
Silver/Gold: silver
Piercings/Tattoos: piercings
Football/Basketball: football
Thunder/Lightning: lightning
This/That: that

-*-*FrIeNdS*-*-
Who is your best girl friend?: ciara
Guy friend: mike
Do you get along with people easily?: i like to think so
Why/Why not: cuz im not afraid to talk to new people
Who have you known the longest?: kate
Who do you dislike the most?: why would u dislike a friend?
Was your crush/bf/gf a close friend before you liked them?: no
Craziest: meg faye, rae, and joey
Loudest: ashley, jackie haha
Funniest: the shorter list is "whish of my friends AREN'T funny"
Quietest: jess f. and brian
Sweetest: courtney, ed
Most caring: noeleen
Most understanding: ciara, mike, dan, dave, ed
Kinkiest: mike
Sleeziest: hmm.
Best dressed: kate, martha, sonya
Biggest flirt: kim! haha steuby
Most likely to have a 2 year relationship: david
Cutest couple: dave and rosie
Most loyal: ciara, mike, kate, joey, rae have always been there for me
Most athletic: ed, pat
If you were stuck with only 2 friends, who would you pick and why?: ciara and mike.. crazy
If you could date >ONE< guy friend, who would you date and why?: hmm they're all kinda like brothers...well some of them...
If you were the opposite sex, which member of the same sex (as you are now) would you date and why?: confusing!
Most likely to be on America's Most Wanted: Mono
Most likely to be a stripper: Mike. he's a man of the cave.
Doctor: kim
Teacher: mike! he would make one hell of a cool teacher.
Soccer mom: kendra, jackie, or ashley haha
One you'd travel across the world for: any of them :)
Biggest wanna-be playa (boy): mono
Biggest wanna-be playa (girl): meg s.
Biggest thug: mono
Smartest: kate
Who would do anything for a thousand dollars?: mike
definitely...im thinking so would dan p, dan w, and joey w
Who has the nicest parents?: joey, ciara, mike
Who is like your adopted sister/brother? mike and ciara!
Who is the most like you?: dan, although mike and ciara and pretty close

-*-*LoVe n ReLaTiOnShIpS*-*-
Do you have a bf/gf?: yea
If so, who?: ed
If not, do you have a crush?:
If so, who?:
How long have you liked your bf/gf/crush?: a month?
What about them do you like so much?: personality
What is their strongest quality?: sense of humor
Weakest quality?: not sure
How long have you known them?: a month
What physical feature attracted you to them first?: eyes
Personality feature: sense of humor
If your single, why do you think you are?:
What was your longest relationship?: 6 months
Shortest: 2 days.. haha otherwise, 1 week in the 8th grade
lol Who was your first love (if you've had one)?: brian
Do you miss them (if your not still together)?: eh, we're still friends
First kiss: epiphany dance, 8th grade
Most recent kiss: sunday

-*-*PaSt*-*-
If you could take back one thing you did, what would it be and why?: 8th grade.. you all know..
Do you have any regrets?: tons
Last thing you said: hahahaha to mike
Last song you heard: "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional
Last person you talked to: Mike
If you could get back together with an ex, who would it be and why?: awkward question..

-*-*PrEsEnT*-*-
What are you doing right now?: quiz
What cd is in your cd player?: sixpence none the richer
Are you cold?: i have a cold...
How are you sitting?: on a chair..
Is there music on?: in my head...lalala
If so, what song is it?: Hands Down
What time is it?: 12:58 PM
Where are your parents?: buying a car

-*-*FuTuRe*-*-
How old will you be when you graduate high school?: 17
Are you going to get married?: yeah
Although you cant tell who you'll marry, is there anyone
you'd wish it would be?: i have no idea
If so, who? hmm
Are you going to have children?: i would like to
If yes, how many?: 5
What will you name them?: Lena, Lux, Marty, Vince, Andy.. maybe..
Do you want to go to college?: yes
Which college: Georgetown, Lehigh, Syracuse
What kind of car will you want to drive: shaggin wagon oh yes
What kind of job will you have: hopefully something w/ music
Whats your expectations for when your 25?: married, a kid, able to support myself, doing something i love

-*-*HaVe YoU eVeR*-*-
Drank: yes
Smoked: no
Skinny Dipped: no
Prank called the police: no
Been followed, etc by the police: no
Been high: no
Done drugs: no
If so, what?:
Stole: no
Hooked up: yes
Had sex: no
Met someone off the net: technically, no
Been in a fist fight: no
Punched your sibling/parent: dont bring it up lol
Wished you'd die: in a sense
Tried to commit suicide: in a sense
Broken a bone: no
Driven illegally: no
Thrown things at your parents: yes
Runaway: i got to the backyard
Filled out a survey this long: yes

-*-*HoW wOuLd YOU sPeLl ThEsE*-*-
Sean/Shawn: Sean
Desiree/Desirae/other: Desiree
Megan/Meghan: Megan
Nicole/Nichole/other: Nicole
Mark/Marc: Mark
Eric/Erik: Eric
Ashley/Ashlee/Ashleigh/other: Ashley
Morgan/Morghan: Morgan
Jackie/Jaqui/other: Jackie
Caitlin/Kaitlyn/other: Caitlin
Shelly/Shelley/other: Shelley
Carey/Carrie/other: Carrie
Vick/Vic: Vic
Darren/Daren: Darren
Derek/Derrik: Derek
Bryan/Brian: Brian
Nikki/Nicky/Nicci/other: Nikki
Christina/Kristina: Christina
Zak/Zack/Zach: Zach
Gina/Geena: Gina

-*-*OtHeRs*-*-
Do you right in cursive or print?: mainly cursive
Are you a lefty, righty, or ambidextrious: righty
Do you believe in God?: yes
Whats your religion?: catholic
What do you think of rainbows?: rainbow brite is god
Do you have any piercings/tattoos?: 2 earrings in each ear
If so, where?: in my ear
If not, do you want any, where?:
What do you think of Eminem?: slim shady.
Is Tupac Shakur really dead?: yes
What do you think of Britney and Justin?: whore and manwhore?
If you could live anywhere else, where would you live?: Newport, New York City, Asheville
Do you drive?: no
Do you have braces or glasses: brace
Like milk and cookies?: yes
Ever worn black nail polish?: yes
If your a guy, have you ever painted your nails?:
Girls, what color nail polish do you have on?: none
If you could have a 6th sense, what would it be?: read minds when i want
If you have a magical power, what would it be and why would you want it?: make things happen/appear when i want
If you could be invisible for a day what would you do?: stalk chris carraba
Do you do things even when your parents say no?: yes
What is your favorite song to "rock out" to?: "Several Ways To Die Trying" by Dashboard Confessional
Ever taken anything from a hotel?: shampoo?
Did you talk to your crush/bf/gf today?: not yet
If so, for how long?
If not, why not? dunno if he's home yet
Do you think this is stupidly long?: eh, i've seen worse Did you like it?: sure...
Why/Why not: stop asking me questions damnit

-*-*FiNiSh*-*-
What time is it?: 1:06 PM
What is the date?: 08/30/03
Why did you just do this?: mike and john told me to


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:36 p.m. on Thursday, August 28, 2003

yet another eventful jam session. oh man, i love every second of them. sonya and joey came over and we ate pizza and watched Comcast: On Demand shows about Learning French 1 and Backyard Safari: Babies. It had this old hippie man called Crinkleroot in it and he would magically appear out of a cloud of weed. or so we thought. and this random french guy that made fun of the accents. oh man. then sonya came over and we went to the basement and jammed. rachel is a GOD and taught me to play "slide" by goo goo dolls.. AMAZING. oh man. and we played "new york city" "time of your life" "a sorta fairytale" "kiss me" and "breakfast at tiffany's" (dan - all of which we recorded and put on ur CD. haha we have no lives at all). then we played all my songs then we freestyle rapped? kinda not rapped. we played backup beats and kind of randomly said words in rhythm, mainly about dogs, electrical outlits, fish named spork, and toes. yea thats us. then we attempted to play dream phone and gave up. then we watched music videos, and more jamming. then everybody left so joey and i went back to playing beautiful dreamer and ended up talking instead then his mom came! so we sang a little and all in all it was another wonderful jam session. i love my friends. very much. so tomorrow is guitar shopping! yay! and saturday, more guitar shopping and party! then sunday should be awesome :) then monday, party? tuesday recording session at studio? wednesday party? thursday schoool? mleh. to school. this summer should end nicely. godwilling. woulda been better if the stupid dashboard confessional concert hadn't sold out. ahhhhhh


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
02:37 p.m. on Thursday, August 28, 2003

yayyy yayyy yayyy. i get a new guitar tomorrow! hopefully. but yayyy. ibanez acoustic-electric = MINE. Gibson electric = my uncle's that he's lending to me. life is sooo sweet right now. i must say, since your probly reading this, PATRICK is a genius. got that? good.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:19 p.m. on Wednesday, August 27, 2003

so i think i've got a cold. and i got it from a 1 yr old. this sucks. and 4 days before my birthday too! *shudder* well tomorrow will hopefully be better; maybe i'll feel better, and hopefully brian, joey, rae, and sonya are coming over to jam. and hopefully im learning the bass! hopefully. this would rock. then sunday, if he's back, ed might come over for my birthday. that would be the most *amazing* way to spend a birthday, really. he left for the shore, and like 10 minutes later i was like "man i miss him." that was intersting for me. i'm feeling good for once.. and my life is in a good place. well my dad's kicking me off.. more later.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
07:48 p.m. on Wednesday, August 27, 2003

i needed change. and since my hair is outta the question.. im guessing the pita had to be the one.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:25 p.m. on Wednesday, August 27, 2003

conor oberst
i probably want to have conor oberst's children

which emo singer are you destined to hump?
brought to you by Quizilla


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:49 p.m. on Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Tonight was soo amazing. A perfect birthday gathering. even though it's not my birthday. mike, kate, and i drove to pat's while singing the supermodel song.

Cate: Guys, lets make up a dance! *starts dancing*
Kate: Cate, that's the Macarena."

So we got to Pat's and Ed was there so we all started walking to Main St. Then i remembered that for my birthday, my mom had given me an envelope to treat everyone to dinner. so we decided to see how much..

$155

I heart my mother. So we ended up going to Hikaru, the best Japanese place ever, then Kate HAD to mention it was my birthday so I got serenaded by this japanese man, i got my picture taken, and i got free red chopsticks! HOORAY. Then we left and went to an old store and this old man runs it. So they tell HIM it's my birthday and he asks how old I am and I say 15. Then I point to Mike and Ed and say how they'll be 17 next year.. To this, the old man goes, "if they make it to seventeen." then turns to them and says "you could go outside and get hit buy a bus.. and if you don't buy something, you might not make it out alive." so we leave. quickly. but only after the old man gave me a wooden flower. and mike and ed are scared everytime a bus passes. the next store, THE FLOWER BREAKS and mike takes it and says "i deflowered cate" then hands it to ed and pat. we went to random stores and found a dildo calendar. wow. then we sat down and found "Gay Street." THEN we find Psychic Monica! but she's not there so we think it was the japanese guy who put a heart between me and ed at the restaraunt EVEN THOUGH he had no clue we were dating. wow. then we went to Bulky's and got these GIGANTIC pixie sticks and candy cigarettes. then back to pat's to watch "old school." and we fit 5 people on a 3 person couch. very very interesting. all i hafta say is RAINBOW CONNECTION!

wonderful, wonderful people.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:17 p.m. on Tuesday, August 26, 2003

This is the last week of summer.. AHH worthy of a good pita entry.

Sunday, went to Mel's birthday party and basically chilled with Mikey who is, I've gotta say, the coolest 5 yr old ever. Talked to Granddad about his mob connections even though he's German. That guy is awesome too. Just like my dad.. a funny guy. Then Mel got a phone call from "Jimmy" and made me, my mom, and her mom (my aunt) leave the kitchen. Aunt Mel had a spasm and was like "she's only 6. she's only 6." i asked who jimmy was and she couldn't say the word boyfriend. then my granddad says i'm too young to date. ahem. HAHAHAHA. i think. im so immature, maybe i am too young to date. but anyway. went minigolfing w/ ed. i dont think i actually hit the ball in a hole once. i kept missing. me and my aim. we talked a lot, and all in all it was an awesome night. then monday, went out w/ the amigos and.. surprise surprise.. went minigolfing haha. we also found a Jim Dandy sundae at Friendly's. Made my night. Then I went to Border's and between my book about vampires, my italian soda, and the stares from the very cute, intellectual college guys, the night was very very good. then tonight = manayunk w/ kate, mike, ed, pat! and maybe others. but its gonna rock. i love manayunk.. such a great area. then thursday, brian is coming over to teach ME to play the BASS. Cate the bass player.. i like. Then Joey, Rae, and Sonya are coming for another jam session where we will write music this time. Saturday is a party? maybe? idk. Sunday = MY BIRTHDAY. the big 15. riiight. god knows where i'll be. hopefully some place cool. well i'm out.. shower time. pray for no thunderstorms...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:10 p.m. on Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Yea so Freddy vs Jason = AMAZING. Oh man, it was hysterical. All i can say is that one of the guys says "DIE BITCH" to the other and i almost shit myself laughing. Okay done my review. So last night, at 12:44 AM (actually this morning)...

I FINISHED MY NEW SONG

and holy crap, i've never ever written a song so angry haha. But it's cool...I've got this piano part, 2 electric guitars, a bass line and drums. I'm thinking it's pretty cool. But be a good friend and call to listen to it and gimme ur input. Plus I need Brian to write a solo for it. Or Rachel. One of the gods. They're amazing. And someday I will play the bass and we will jam and life will be well. I need a new hobby. I've started corresponding w/ friends via handwritten letter. It's kinda cooler cuz u can write more and write anything. So I've decided what I want to do before summer's over:

1. Go to Manayunk to chill w/ Pat Ed Karl and friends. Yes Mike, you are friends. And other people who want to meet my random friends....ur welcome to come along.

2. Go to NJ for a day w/ Dan. We will: Listen to mix cds/tapes, watch sister act, go thrifting, and eat stouffer's mac and cheese (among other endeavors)...should be fun to see the beast again.

3. Go to Guitar Center and buy one hell of a cool guitar. Enough said.

4. Jump on a trampoline. I miss them.

5. Go minigolfing and harass a certain person who wants to have a threesome with me and Mikail. now THAT would be the highlight of the summer.

6. Get a good night's sleep.

This is like my freaking New Year's Resolutions...for before sophomore year, at least. WE're sophs. '06. WHAT NOW. Yea I deff stole that from Jackie, but she's cool and shouldn't mind. I think it's gonna be good this year...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:12 p.m. on Monday, August 18, 2003

Good night. Good movie. Then things get confusing when I get home. But I'm listening to Placebo and the dizzy feeling is going away.

Come on Balthazaa I refuse to let you die
Come on falling star I refuse to let you die
Cos it's wrong and i've been waiting far too long
It's wrong
I've been waiting far too long
For you to be...be...be...be...be mine
For you to be mine
Be mine
For you to be mine
And it's wrong i've been waiting far too long
It's wrong
I've been waiting far too long
For you to be...be...be...be...be

All the centrefolds that you can't afford
Have long since waved their last goodbyes
All the centrefolds that you can't afford
You've long sinced faded from their eyes
So be...be mine
So be...be mine

Yea. Wow. Placebo kicks ass. Here's some more lyrics that rule because I, Cate the Grreat, say so.

You called to say you wanted out.
Well, I can't say I blame you now.
Sometimes you've got to fold
before you're found out.
Well thanks for waiting this long to show yourself.

Cause now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.

So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now you're gone and it's wasted on me.

You called to say you wanted out.
Well, I can't say I blame you now.
Sometimes you've got to fold
before you're found out.
Well thanks for waiting this long
to show yourself.

Cause now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.

So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now you're gone and it's wasted on me.

I guess that all you got is all you're gonna get,
so much for, so much more
I guess that all you got is all you're gonna get,
so much for, so much more

Do what you must if that's what you wish,
I can't be a pardon to this
you have a sense that you were born with
You'll find a way to make things right.

I guess that all you got is all you're gonna get.
so much for, so much more
I guess that all you got is all you're gonna get.
so much for, so much more

Yea. goodnight kiddies. i need sleep and thinking time!


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
06:09 p.m. on Monday, August 18, 2003

the guitar is fucking amazing. i don't think i've ever played it so much in my whole life. Tori Amos is like the goddess of guitar songs. I've decided that. The wedding was pretty good. I have a lot of fake cousins, so what the hell I shall call them cousins. Saturday drove up w/ mom, aunt bev and uncle bob, and jen. stayed in the same hotel as the ENTIRE rest of my family. holy shit, we take up a lot of space. went to the shortest wedding of my life...it was like 15 minutes long. went to a kickass reception where they played "electric slide," "booty call," and THE POLKA. oh yes. kudos to joey for teaching it to me. My little cousin Jackie IS SOO CUTE. You all should wish YOU coulda danced the polka with her. She's adorable. Then Saturday night-Sunday morning = PARTYING, the actuality of why everyone goes to weddings in the first place. I went to Coll and Mike's room with Adam and Brendan and we watched CHinese people doing stupid things. It was amazing. I love how all my guy cousins and I talk about is our guitars. I'm such a man. The Sunday, the ENTIRE family was gonna go to IHOP but too crowded so we took over the KFC next door. And when the KFC didnt have coffee, we still stayed there...just brought our own food. 7-11 coffe, donuts, orange juice, and sandwiches. KFC was pissed haha. Then we took a family photo...and realized we were standing underneath the "We Do Chicken Right!" sign. Wow. The Ursic family does chicken right. hell yes. Well tonight is Freddy vs. Jason. It will kick ass. Dan and I were debating about possible endings.

Geekrocker37:oh man F vs J looks amazingly funny and gory. and i hear there are bobies.
Quisty027: hahaha
Quisty027: we were betting on whose gona win
Geekrocker37: i'm going with Jason...but freddy isnt dead complelty. becuase there has to be a sequel
Quisty027: i say that at the end, the guy from Scream will pop out and murder them all
Quisty027: but thats me
Geekrocker37: thats a good one. Or pinhead shows up, marrying michael miyers
Quisty027: however, freddy can get into people's dreams
Quisty027: YESSS
Quisty027: no better yet
Quisty027: freddy and jason become lovers
Quisty027: now THAT is a bondage film...chainsaws?
Geekrocker37: oh man that would be so hot
Quisty027: damn right it would
Quisty027: or freddy and jason take off their masks and become romy and michelle

yea that'd definitely be a horror movie...well im out kiddies. l8ter allig8r.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:21 p.m. on Friday, August 15, 2003

Wow long week.

Monday, went to minigolf with Mike, Meg, Kate, Danielle, Ed, Pat, and Karl. Went to the ahem "suggestive" spencers section (vibrating cucumber?) then watched mike shove megan into a kinko's truck and watched megan shove mike into a handicapped entrance button. went to minigolf. pat lost his balls. ed has a purple stick w/ a pink ball. he's a confident one....went on go karts and pat hit the railing and set off sparks. played the dance game. mike and i kicked ass. mike approves!!!! HOORAY. Had a dance contest w/ pat karl and ed.

Tuesday: "freaky friday" with ed. was tons of fun...more car games, talking, and such. NO KISSING mar i'm a good girl. really. when i get back...JASON VS FREDDY HELL YES

Wednesday: Ciara's! yay! Play basketball, got scared of the boys, wrote bad love poems, talking about "david's house of hotcakes" with david, scared ed on the phone, made COOKIE DOUGH (ciara (holding up cup 1/2 full with dough): is this 1/8?...cate: yes), went swimming at 2 AM, danced to NSYNC (Tearin up my heart is the greatest song of all time...take that note), watched boy meets world, had girltalk til 4 AM....yea thats a party at the gates'...

Thursday: Minigolf with Mike and Beth and Leo! We threw our balls in the waterfall and watched them take courses. My ball went a different direction, but Mike got saved. WTF? I ask myself that everyday. Played dancing game again. Went to Friendly's and I was the only one NOT to get a sundae. Put Beth's Sundae in the middle of the parking lot, and murdered it. Bought the new Dashboard CD (ITS IS AMAZINGGGGGG), watched mike harass ed on the phone, looked at the "my first time" book at borders (the one w/ two guys on the front...AHHH), found itty-bitty-buddha, and i went home. another fun time w/ the camp crew.

Friday: hahaha did absolutely nothing. I'm going to a wedding in the morning. Peace out! I will have a cell.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:43 p.m. on Tuesday, August 12, 2003

You say 'like' too much
But I'm shaking at your touch
I like you way too much
My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you
And I'd do about anything to get the hell out alive
Or maybe I would rather settle down with you

--Weezer

So tonight was another wonderful night with ed. we went to see freaky friday (basically the mom was my mom and the brother was his brother). we then played the car game and police force at the arcade (im a seargent!) then talked about Havana Nights haha. When he gets back from the shore and I get back from the wedding...Freddy vs. Jason, oh man. Should be awesome. So tomorrow is the first day of my new work schedule! hooray! im going to bed now so i wake up and work. and we decided one some stuff.

1) Kendra and I named the band. It is: Undecided As Of Yet (hot name? i think so...)

2) Mike and I named the band. It is: The Reruns
Here is our title song, "Let's Go Start A Band"
Well he said she said
I got a garage
and she's knows a guy
who plays a guitar
and what the hell?
i'll go buy a bass
what do you say?

Well its Saturday night
and nothing to do
come over and chill
invite the whole crew
with only the best CDs at hand
lets give it a shot
lets go start a band

peace!
Cate


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
12:49 a.m. on Monday, August 11, 2003

12 AM brainwaves rock. christian was right. i now can clear my head and things make a little bit of sense. I played a lot of guitar today: TMBG, Duncan Sheik, Fleetwood Mac, Led Zepplin, Taking Back Sunday, Sixpence None The Riched, Green Day, and Cate Obert-Thorn. Being the weird person that I am, I put all their songs in one and produced a 12 AM brainwave song called "Our Summer." After not even knowing what I was writing, and just typing stupid things, I read over the lyrics and felt sad. This summer is wonderful, why am I sad? I'm missing something...or someone. And I'm not sure how. Like, I know what I'm telling myself is wrong. But do I want to admit it? When you want something that is never going to happen so bad, why can't you just...stop wanting it? Just fooling myself...so true...and I could want to actually stop and think about life. But when you're caught between something you like right now, and a match that was never meant to be, you get to be a nervous wreck writing 12 AM brainwave songs. Maybe I should calm down. Past is past, and if you love something, let it go...if it comes back, it was meant to be, right?

Last summer
was the best one of my life
with the brilliant days and brilliant nights
and brilliant plans and you
behind everything
all your little schemes
and maybe i'm the one at loss for that summer

Well we met in our time
and shared a pepsi underneath a moonlit sky
you played guitar and taught me how
to make the best of what is now
cuz life's worth living

So I'm thinking you and me
this could be the start of something
but I'm not sure what to call it
cuz love is just another word
that's often used to loosely
do you feel it?
do you feel it too?

Midnight walks beside the ocean
My hearts calling this emotion
something more
something more

But as the days go on and on
This song is droning on too long
the point was just to tell you
thanks

so I'm thinking you and me
could've been the start of something
but I'm not sure what to call it now
lost emotions, no more questions
no more words
just remember last summer
just remember our summer


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:05 a.m. on Sunday, August 10, 2003

oh man. american wedding = hysterical. i heart all those movies. so ed and i went to see it then went to the arcade, where there was Area 51 aka the FAKE maximum force with aliens. Kinda funny. Then we attmped to play police force, but gave up after the live targets. THINGS I SHOULD NOT BE BECAUSE OF SIMULATED GAMES: 1) driver 2) police officer, not even a rent-a-cop. But oh well, im doing better! I came in 3rd in the racing game and drove ABOVE the speed limit this time ;). So this week should be pretty good. A little work everyday, hanging out most nights (MIKE AND KATE THAT MEANS YOU) and then leaving friday morning for the wedding. AHH. I haven't been to a wedding since I was 7. And I had bangs, curly hair and a puffy dress. This time: going for the classic looks. But still maintaining Caitlin style. So black dress. I love how half my family is wearing black to the wedding. Makes it a joyous occasion, dontcha think? I just realized its 10 AM. I'm never up this early. But Dad's taking me to church and made me wake up an hour early. ::needs sleep:: so lately, i've been really set on writing a new song. Not just another Caitin song, but a SONG that is GOOD and BIG. Like, an Oh Angel, but BETTER. I need a new song. But I'm not feeling anything to write about. And writing about being numb isn't very easy. If anyone read my LJ, theres a new song for ya, leave me a comment, eh? But I just wish I could write something decent. I wish I knew what I wanted too. But the summer is seriously taking a turn for the better. I'm getting my work done (slowly, but doing it), I'm hanging out with my friends, I met a guy and have seen him 4 times in 8 days, I had bitterfest, we're having more jam sessions, and I can play New York City on my guitar. Things surely are looking up. As odd as it sounds, I really can't wait for school. I miss the whole gang from last year, and I miss randomly going to LaSalle after school to hang out with the gang there. Hopefully this year will be the same if not better. And I've decided to buckle down and work hard to get at least a 3.8 next year to average my horrible GPA from last year. You're probly reading this and going why the hell is she telling me this? Well I'm writing this so that when I'm really thinking of giving up next year, I can read it and remember how badly I wanted the grades, the opportunities, and the memories. Hopefully. So g2g to church now...maybe a post later?


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:27 p.m. on Friday, August 8, 2003

wow long time no entry. great week. so as of today, i have a new favortie song..."stacy's mom" by fountains of wayne...oh man...that band is amazing. but it still doesn't beat my TMBG. Rae and I have officially hit obsession level...to the point where i call her Linnell and she calls me Flansy, and all of you are either Dan or John. So there. So now along with my Weezer Tribute Band, there shall be a TMBG tribute band. Oh girls. Named John. Speaking of GOOD MUSIC, i'm missing warped today. *sad face* i wanted to go. but yea no ride no ticket. sucks for me. so basically last thursday, went to movies w/ pat ed karl sonya. sunday went to movies with pat ed karl mar and chris. wednesday went to mall with ed. we saw the peppermint dance club LINE DANCING holy crap they're amazing. Tonight, movies with Kendra, Mike, and bunch of random people. Maybe Ed and Joe will come. Would be veryyy cool. So I've expanded my guiitar horizons. Green Day, TMBG, Sixpence None The Richer, Weezer, Deep Blue Something, and Something Corporate. And Brian is teaching me bass. HOORAY. this week is amazing. and tomorrow i get to call dan and harass him for his birthday. hazaa!! if he reads this...daniel, there is a song by leonardo's bride called "buddha baby"...thought i should let you know ;) well kiddies, last dance class of the summer. and i'm going. see you all later


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:57 p.m. on Monday, August 4, 2003

wow last night was wonderful! so me, mar, pat, ed, karl, and chris went to the dinner/movies. at bertucci's there was like 8000000 menu things and pat's like "we just want a large cheese pizza." then the guy tries to make us buy drinks, and we say no. and we feel obliged to take the water he offers. THEN we look over and pat decides our waiter is "crazy eyes" from mr deeds. flipping SCARY. then we dont have time to figure out the tip, so we just leave 6 bucks. And the bill was $12. Therefore, the INCREDIBLY SMART kiddies from lasalle and gwynedd left a 50% tip. dumbasses. then said kiddies pat ed karl and cate walk to movies and find mar and chrid buying tickets. they see pirates of the caribbean. it is AMAZING. pat and cate joke about the monkey and lumpo and crazy eyes for half the movie. ed and karl laugh about the jamaican man. ***BEST PICKUP LINE EVER*** Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy (just say it out loud and you'll get it). Then the teens galivanted off to the arcade where they squandered money of games such as "cruisin world" and "maximum force". Cate drove the speed limit on the racing game and shot the hostages in maximum force. then she was about to be serenaded by a boy, and her mother came to get her. the end of a glorious night.

oh, and SOCCER TAPE (just read ciara's journal)


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:44 p.m. on Saturday, August 2, 2003

oh man last night was much fun. so late last night, i went over to ciara's. we played foozeball and a little guitar (ciara you and i will someday play weezer duets hahaha). then we watched "dont say a word" which is possibly the worst horror movie ever. great acting, but a terrible terrible script. and not scary either. then ciara decides to HIDE and make me find her with the creepy music from the DVD so i basically sat in her kitchen then found her 10 minutes later in the living room. we're so odd. but last year was better, when me, ashley, meg and frannie locked ourselves in the bathroom cuz we thought we were gonna die...but anyways, then we watched "serendipity" and debated whether we wanted unpredictable or predictable lives and love. still undecided on that one. cuz i define love as being something that occurs over time, after knowing someone and knowing their heart. but what about love at first sight? clug calls it lust. but im not sure...i mean, what if it really does happen? but that contradicts my beliefs about everything and ugh i dont wanna get into it. so i just got home and now im gonna go help my mom get a dress for my cousins wedding. and tomorrow night--movies. with keeks and mar. and BOYS. oh yes mar summer is looking up hahaha


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:10 p.m. on Friday, August 1, 2003

Broadwaybabie06: I hate people who put conversations in blogs, ya know?
Quisty027: oh yea…me too…


Broadwaybabie06: hryyy
Broadwaybabie06: **heyyy
DASHBOARDfan247: why its caira gates!
DASHBOARDfan247: *Ciara
Broadwaybabie06: still hung over I see….
DASHBOARDfan247: yea well we got pretty roudy at church on the mall last night hahaha
Broadwaybabie06: speaking of last night, how was the movie? :-*
DASHBOARDfan247: hehehe u know me ;)
DASHBOARDfan247: jk
DASHBOARDfan247: it was a lot of fun…specially when pat figured out it was raining lol
Broadwaybabie06: im telling ya, only pat
Broadwaybabie06: did ya meet his crew friends hes been telling us about?
DASHBOARDfan247: yes
DASHBOARDfan247: so hows work
Broadwaybabie06: hold on… whats his name
DASHBOARDfan247: whose name?
Broadwaybabie06: oh please, don’t even try to cover it, I know you, and my telepathic cantelope is telling me that u met a booooooooy
DASHBOARDfan247: telepathic cantaloupe?
DASHBOARDfan247: you better hope I don’t put this one on the pita…
DASHBOARDfan247: ;)
Broadwaybabie06: right well that would be… whats the name???
DASHBOARDfan247: nothing!!
Broadwaybabie06: dork
DASHBOARDfan247: butthead
Broadwaybabie06: boy?
DASHBOARDfan247: girl?
Broadwaybabie06: unless theres something you haven’t told me….
DASHBOARDfan247: huh?
DASHBOARDfan247: oooh hahahaha
Broadwaybabie06: boy?
DASHBOARDfan247: really?
Broadwaybabie06: ?yob
DASHBOARDfan247: ?yllaer
Broadwaybabie06: bffdbltmetrampolinesdeadbirdsbreakup101cantaloupeTELL ME FOR GODS SAKEbeefcraborcibertuccinedIM NOT GONNA REST TIL I KNOW
DASHBOARDfan247: wow
Broadwaybabie06: boy?
DASHBOARDfan247: no
Broadwaybabie06: boy?
DASHBOARDfan247: no
Broadwaybabie06: boy?
DASHBOARDfan247: no
Broadwaybabie06: boy?
DASHBOARDfan247: NO
Broadwaybabie06: BOY!
DASHBOARDfan247: FINE
Broadwaybabie06: boy?
Broadwaybabie06: wait u messed up the flow! DAMN YOU o well moving on
DASHBOARDfan247: idk i mean, im still confuzzled about everything with boys
DASHBOARDfan247: summer hasn’t exactly been the best…nor has freshman year
Broadwaybabie06: as far as boys u mean? Well 1 or 2 boy troubles is nothing to worry about, are you OVER them yet
DASHBOARDfan247: maybe?
DASHBOARDfan247: I guess so
Broadwaybabie06: well you moved on last time, you can do it again, tell me bout him
DASHBOARDfan247: idk he’s really cool….mar talked to him a little ;) u know my ways hahaha
Broadwaybabie06: hahaha at least we didnt hafta chase him around North Whales and serenade him with your name
DASHBOARDfan247: that would be bad
DASHBOARDfan247: speaking of which, we should get the whole gang from last summer back togther
DASHBOARDfan247: more 4am swims and stealing bikes, ya know?
DASHBOARDfan247: and more gravitron guys!
Broadwaybabie06: **ooh memories** best summer ever, and I mean it
DASHBOARDfan247: that was the last time I can remember when I was so completely happy I had no worries at all haha
DASHBOARDfan247: then I went to gwynedd haha…but u know its not that bad…I think soph years gonna be different, idk
Broadwaybabie06: I sure hope so, but ya know what ? IT WILL! We are going to go into soph year happy and worry free like we were last summer. Ya no what makes it all better? No LATIN!
DASHBOARDfan247: damnyou
Broadwaybabie06: oh yea I forgot, poor you… HAVE FUN THO
DASHBOARDfan247: *sneers*
DASHBOARDfan247: why did we double major anyway? We should be kicked
Broadwaybabie06:agreed
DASHBOARDfan247: so do u just have work the rest of summer?
Broadwaybabie06: no actually next week is my last week! It’s so sad I’m gonna miss everyone!
DASHBOARDfan247: yea it was like that with dance…august will majorly suck…i still have like 4 subjects…so no concerts or shore outings…..this sucksssss
Broadwaybabie06: NOOOOOOOOOOO
Broadwaybabie06: I have to go, I have to sleep… haha that’s a good one right? Have fun with your work babe!
DASHBOARDfan247: DIE
DASHBOARDfan247: sleep well!
Broadwaybabie06 signed off at 11:07 PM.


mar, that one was for you hahahaha...well i'm going to keeks house hooraaay. at 11:30 at night! i love randomly late sleepovers. ttul, kiddies, be back in the morning


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:50 p.m. on Friday, August 1, 2003

like the new design? I MADE IT MYSELF. HOT. rae--you've got me HOOKED on placebo now. well back to the french books.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:21 p.m. on Thursday, July 31, 2003

"Dude, it's all wet."
"Dude, it's like raining."
--Karl and Pat

hahaha funny night tonight was. so me and sonya went to the mall to meet up with pat and his friends, ed and karl, who are the the funniest people ever. we saw johnny english as well as previews for the mix between homeward bound, old yeller, and the wild thornberries (aka brother bear). then after the movie (and dan--we bought HULK gummies...they were green like the hulk licorice!) we went back to the mall...which was CLOSED. so we walked aorund the empty mall until mall security told us to leave. then we went to church on the mall and saw the PEPPERMINT DANCE CLUB. *hahahaha to mike, jackie, and christian* so we watched them from outside, then tried to go in "God's back door" but the old men never kept it open. then we went to the haunted ikea, then the corporate building, then back to the movies. to end our wonderful night, we stood outside in front of botn our parents' cars and talked for 10 minutes. priceless evening, they're the funniest guys ever. Well kiddies...more dance tomrorow, and ton of French homework. Au revoir!


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:42 a.m. on Wednesday, July 30, 2003

B A S I C Q U E S T I O N S
whO u got diS from : mike
my name is: cate
people call me: obert-thorn, ot, buddha baby, doinka, marty, poo, tree, homeslice, covertcobert...yea...
in the morning i am : tired
love: is the greatest thing in the world. and it sucks when you're ALONE.
if i could see one person right now: noeleen so i could hug her
tall or short: for boys, tall
born: 8/31/88
shoe: my blue and yellow pumas, and my $2 thrift store shoes
school: gwynedd
sibs: none
righty or lefty: righty

H A V E Y O U E V E R
smoked: no
bungee jumped: no
broken the law: hehe woops
skinny dipped: no
fallen for the wrong guy/girl: not fallen in love, but liked the absolute wrong guy
laughed until you cried: YES. ALL THE TIME with my friends
drank until you blacked out: not exactly
skipped school: haha yes
had an imaginary friend: yes!

W I T H T H E O P P O S I T E S E X
what do u notice first? eyes
turn on- smile
turn off- lots of tatooes (sp?)
hair: i like guys w/ kinda long hair...but not really...
best height: tall.

W H O ?
is ur special someone: that would be justin, thanks to the picture mar found. but actually, no, the single life suits me right now. (im trying to convince myself of that)
makes u laugh: all my friends
makes you smile: all my friends
easier to talk to: ciara and mike are the greatest listeners ever
do u cry with: ciara. breakup 101, right? haha

W O R D A S S O C I A T I O N
red: cherries
cow: bell!
grass: to sit on! or something...from OOTI haha mike
zebras: disney world!
socks: my blue nike socks
blue: swimming pools
crackers: TAIWAN hahahhahaa ciara
france: the cantique in chorale
zin: fat chinese baby?
aim: amazing
jelly: peanut butter is better

T H I S O R T H A T
day/night: night
summer/winter: summer
lace/satin: satin
tape/cd: cd
lust/love: love
on phone/in person: in person
gold/silver: silver
scary/happy movies: scary

F A V O R I T E
color: red
word: epitome (so fun to say!)
scent: ibiza hippie!
ice cream flavor: mint chocolate chip
holiday: halloween, 4th of july
shampoo: massimo! the stuff from all-catholic...i miss it!
furniture: tables
number: 19
emotion: quirky
food: greek pasta!
drink: chai latte
fast food: kfc
skool subject: english
car: outtie!
sport to play: field hockey...im an ANIMAL
sport to watch: football
band: too many. lets just say dashboard, SC, gin blossoms for now. but so many more.
flower: rose
cartoon character: rainbow brite!
book: "feeling sorry for celia", "white oleander", "crazy", and "demon in my view"
language: ig-pay atin-lay
weekend activity: mall and movies!
store: pac sun...im a tshirt person
fruit: cherries strawberries and bananas
name:
for a girl? Lena, Katia, Geneva, Clare
for a guy? Vince, Andrew


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:56 p.m. on Tuesday, July 29, 2003

"cuz everyone's your friend in new york city/and everything is beautiful when you're young and pretty/the streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see/but the best thing about new york city is you and me" (they might be giants)

so tonight was great. went minigolfing w/ mike and ash. called the numbers that people wrote on the benches that are like "call for a friend" and "call for hott." made some new friends. my ball STOPPED on a decline (it can defy gravity like mike!). and i'm offically the slowest eater. ever. and i'm always thirsty too. but ash and i KICK ASS at the chinese dance game made by poor chinese child laborers. and we played "bump bump bump" which i refused to prove my INCREDIBLE break-dancing skills to, and played spice girls then ran away. and mike played "dump the ump" which is the best game ever created. feeling sad? dump and ump. well i'm out...musical writing tomorrow, and hopefully lis's show...then thursday, movies + random lasalle guys = ? idk mayeb i'll meet some. g'nite, kiddies.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:26 p.m. on Monday, July 28, 2003

There are lights illuminating Central Park; it’s quite a sight to see. I love Central Park in mid-November. The multicolored leaves on the stone walkways give me the feeling of a small-town university; I really never figured it out. The sky’s got this velvety feeling and it looks like my first formal dress. It was shimmery blue that glistened with little stars when I turned. So right now, I’m sitting on this old bench reminiscing about those days when I was so carefree that all I cared about was formal dresses and summertime. I was raised in uptown New York. I went to an all-girl’s private academy called Lyonhead. That’s where I met my best friend, Clare. We found we could relate to each other's wants, hopes, and dreams. I never had a sister. It was May of this year that things began to change for us; the world was suddenly full of new possibilities. That summer, my life changed forever. The last few months have been hard for the both of us; we’ve almost grown apart. But we’ve also matured, and we still are able to look at each other from across the room and know what the other is thinking.

The sky looked exactly like this the last time Clare and I talked face to face. I can still see the flames in the night sky outlining her golden hair. She had tears running down her eyes, and all she whispered was, “Goodbye.” Nothing else needed to be said, because all was understood. And we embraced, and the next day, she was back in New York with her parents. In time, her mom called my mom to say that we needed time apart. That we needed to heal.

So here I am, sitting in semi-darkness, strumming chords on my guitar. Up until three months ago, I would’ve amazed you with years of classical training. I had mastered Chopin nocturnes, and was working on Haydn. Oh, how summer can change even the tiniest things, such as musical tastes. I never knew how to play the guitar. I actually haven’t picked it up since yesterday. It brought back too many memories. The dark brown of the wood was the color of his hair, and his initials were engraved in red. EJD. A filmstrip of memories played in my mind, and I could almost smell the ocean in his hair, and see his beautiful eyes. That’s what I remember the most about him, his vivid, green eyes. They had amber on the inside and light green on the outside. As I strummed a chord on that guitar for the first time in over two months, I could feel his hands on mine, teaching me to play. His palms were always soft, but the tips of his fingers were rough from playing, as mine are becoming. And I can still hear him singing to me. But those days are over now. Almost like a dream, the summer came quickly, brightly, and then faded away into the cold gray reality of the world.

I play a chord. Breathing slowly, the words flood back to me. If ever a moment comes when I’m not by your side, just smile and think of summertime. And the moment is gone.

I’m sitting here waiting to meet a secret admirer. He’s been leaving me roses and notes for the past three weeks, and finally I’m going to meet him. People ask me if I’m okay, and honestly, I’m not. But I know I will be. I once learned that if you’re scared of a movie, and you close your eyes at the scariest part, you will regret it for a long time, possibly forever. You must go back to the theater, and do whatever it takes to watch that part. Only then will you be free of the ties that hold you to your burden of guilt. And so I must do that now…


i just found that. i wrote it a while ago, called "Stealing A God." Maybe I'll finally be able to finish writing it.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
04:34 p.m. on Monday, July 28, 2003

i want out. right now.

how come i have a bad feeling about this? what do I want? or am i just trying to conceal something. i'm not sure if i do or if i don't anymore. i'm not sure at all.

there's your answer.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:19 p.m. on Monday, July 28, 2003

the greatest link in the history of time is such:


.l y r i c s.


that's right. lyrics to the demo. ciara gates, that is for YOU so u can make more away messages. im going to work on english...then hopefully there will be going out tonight.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:57 p.m. on Friday, July 25, 2003

i'm changing...


You've been there for me one time in my life
But it didn't matter
You came and went so fast all my hope
And faith in you shattered
And now here I sit alone in this room
No one to confide in
You watched all my dreams come apart at the seams
You laughed, you left, you waited in hiding...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:09 p.m. on Thursday, July 24, 2003

Bitter Fest 2003

It's coming to a town near you. And being run by Dave and Rae and I. You're not invited though. We're too bitter to actually invite you, though. But everyone is invited to Bitter Fest 2004! Hooray!! And Dave reassured me that he will mail me a "Bitter Fest 2043" invitation in 40 years. Just in time for the Weezer Tribute band and my marriage to Michael! Hooray!


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:27 p.m. on Wednesday, July 23, 2003

things cate is: (according to dan)
1) THE FAT CHINESE BUDDHA BABY
2) A butch truck driver
3) A monster at SUCKA

things dan is: (according to cate)
1) butthead
2) beast
3) SIDEBURNS

the world makes sense now!


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
05:58 p.m. on Wednesday, July 23, 2003

I've decided something.


The Ataris is amazing. Period. No questions asked. I've spent the afternoon listening and reading lyrics and I'm in love with the songs. They are so true, and so complete. Brandon Boyd of Incubus once said that a good song gives you a lump in your throat and you can appreciate it. If that's true, I can't breathe. Here are a few lyrics for your viewing satisfaction:

"When half of all your prayers are insincere, the other half are lies..."

"I wish there was something I could say to erase each and every page you've been through even though its not my place to save you I appreciate but cant accept this thank you note thats sealed with your last breath and I won't stand aside and listen to you give up if you'll just hold on for one more second..."

"Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up: These are the best days of our lives. The only thing that matters is just following your heart and eventually you'll finally get it right"

""We Are the Champions" playing out on the radio station Everyone sing along with these anthems of our generation. Cruisin' down Pacific Coast Highway, Put the top down, crawl into the back seat. Let's create anthems of our own tonight"

"The runway lights are the deepest blue like the colors of your eyes So close them tight and kiss me one last time If you could go anywhere right now Where would you go? And would you miss me when you get there?"



I think I've proved my point. Listening makes you feel so lonely yet so complete. I close my eyes and picture summer nights with close friends, guitars, love interests, all sitting around, maybe some playing songs, some talking about last summer, so staring into each other's eyes and falling in love...these are the epitomes of the summer I want. If only... yea so I still have my lyric of the day below...really enjoy the end of summer b/c it will be gone soon...

"Maybe I'm not ready for this, and you know it/ Maybe I'm too scared to tell you what I'm really thinking/ It's not fair to stay together because of regrets we might have/ I don't want to fall asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you?/ I'm only trying to be completely honest/ So I guess this is the ending or a beautiful mistake/ And if we both agree that we shouldn't be together why does it hurt so much?" -- "A Beautiful Mistake" by The Ataris


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
08:39 p.m. on Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Why not take a crazy chance? Damnit, WHY NOT DO A CRAZY DANCE?? yea thats my rendition of Lizzie McGuire...its stuck in my head. Past days have been pretty good...Sunday was G-Pop's birthday...niice party, there was a painting of a dog in a tuxedo at the restaurant...whoever did that painting, snaps for you (maura, i have not seen it yet...but i have a funny story about my dad and snaps to tell you). so anyways. then yesterday was amazingly fun. i babysat from 8:30-11:30 (strenuous, really) then went over to Joey's to paint his room. Didn't exactly get the farthest, just primed it w/ Jen and Diana...very fun stuff. But we listened to "chorus line" and "mamma mia" while priming, and they are *AMAZING*. And yes, Rae, his fishtank was STILL THERE with the fish...and its alive...we're all hoping that for the sake of the fish, it dies, cuz no one animal could stand living in filth and starving besides beloved Spork (it has a name!). Then today went over to Joey's again, and painted ceiling white, ate grilled cheese, and watch Mr. Deeds. Then realized we still had to paint the walls and turned it into "trading spaces" (and took pictures). We even made a "JOEY CATE JENNY DIANA" mural on the wall. Then painted over it. Fun while it lasted. Again, another wonderful time...they're one of the greatest families I know. Then Mrs. K drove me to dance, and I spent 2 hours dancing without water. I was soo tired by the end, came home, watched thirteen ghosts, ate ice cream, worked and now am typing this, soon to work some more. Well I must be going now..."The Chosen" awaits my return *snicker*. And i would like to make it known that ciara and i have the BEST phone calls. especially when she whips of the SJP yearbook and we look for guys we know and ciara tells me guys she thinks are hot/ugly. To Mike/Dan/Rob -- you passed the Ciara test, congratulations. Oh and Jackie, and I have a new found love of the game M.A.S.H. Yea I'm gonna go read now...

"At Cavanaugh Park we used to get high watching teams as they fought/They loved my friend Adam but he always got caught/ Man, that kid made fucking up look cool/Aren't we all so cool now? No..." --"Cavanaugh Park" by Something Corporate"


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
08:59 p.m. on Saturday, July 19, 2003

New York City by They Might Be Giants

You called me last night on the telephone
And I was glad to hear from you 'cause I was all alone
You said, "It's snowing, it's snowing! God, I hate this weather."
Now I walk through blizzards just to get us back together

We met in the springtime at a rock-and-roll show
It was on the Bowery when it was time to go
We kissed on the subway in the middle of the night
I held your hand, you held mine, it was the best night of my life.

'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me

Statue of Liberty, Staten Island Ferry, Co-op City, Katz's and Tiffany's
Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, The Empire State where Dylan lived
Coney Island and Times Square, Rockefeller Center
Wish I was there

You wrote me a letter just the other day
Said, "Springtime is coming soon so why don't you come to stay."
I packed my stuff, got on the bus, I can't believe it's true
I'm three days from New York City and I'm three days from you

'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
07:31 p.m. on Saturday, July 19, 2003

this made me laugh. extremely hard. HAHAHAHA.





And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:37 p.m. on Friday, July 18, 2003

I AM THE REAL NAPSTER. hahaha oh man. italian job = great movie. well thought out, good effects, good plot, twists, and humor. good movie. i went w/ ciara, gabriella, gabriella's bf, and his friend. basically sat w/ ciara and talked like half the movie. we talk about past and present things. aka boys. not exactly the best topic, but we had a lot to say. finally blurted out to ciara that i still wasn't over the situation of the months ago, and she smiled and gave me a hug. she is like the epitome of a best friend...all of you people reading this should be JEALOUS cuz she's the greatest. But anyways...it kinda hit me when I said it that it was true. I'm a sap, dammit. Went home and talked to Joey my Homeboy for a while about the "ideal guy" (and prolife/chastity/catholicism). He's a good kid. So tomorrow = no jersey = caitlin gets to work on french. hazaa. then sunday is g-pop's birthday...always a good time. what an animal...80 years old. But tonight, the forcast is thunderstorms w/ a little bit of songwriting and hot chocolate...yes in july...

oh and i've decided that from now on, I'm gonna put a song lyrics at the end of my entry. so here goes:

"and there's not enough room in this world for my pain/signals crossed and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain/of all my demon spirits i need you the most/i'm in love with your ghost"(ghost-indigo girls)


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:41 p.m. on Thursday, July 17, 2003

"I thirst but never quench/know the consequence, feeling as I do/we're in a spinning top/where, tell me, will it stop /and what am I to say/Open our music book, that only few can look/and I'll write a song..." --Earth Wind and Fire


So i'm taking that advice. And writing a new song... yay for songwriting!!

Tune to: E A D G B E

A Em Cadd9 D <--chords for verse

I'm not awake
anymore
Dreams may begin there's no more lies
not even sounds when angels cry
in this life
and it goes on
with the saints and sinners
lost in their hearts of gold and lead
better off dead

CHORUS

G D A A<--chords for chorus

And I'm so tired of looking in
through shadows of broken glass
you try to tell me your hearts not breaking
but I know that you always fake your pain
cuz its all a game to you



Yea its basically a song I wrote like last year w/ chords hahaha. I'm out...new episodes of crush on comcast! score!


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
06:39 p.m. on Thursday, July 17, 2003

I have one thing to say...



To dance!
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection,
Muscle spasm, chiropractors, short-careers, eating disorders
Film!
Adventure, Tedium. No family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze
Music!
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition
Anarchy!
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and dange
Making noise and making pleas
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too
To me and me and me and you and you and you you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
LA VIE BOHEME


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:47 p.m. on Wednesday, July 16, 2003


Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Idealistic Virgin
You are an IDEALISTIC VIRGIN.

What Kind of Virgin Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Blue Eyes

What Color Eyes Should You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla


Funny Asian Man

What's Your Personality Type?
brought to you by Quizilla


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:05 p.m. on Wednesday, July 16, 2003

today was mucho fun! rae, jess, and i rode into philly and listened to me first and the gimme gimmes and the GREATEST CD of all time: the all-catholic chorus festival. oh man, hot stuff. grammy worthy, really. we made fun of ourselves, then got bored and babbled about stuff. then sang the national in 3 part harmony. thats us gwynedd girls... then in philly we got this big ass folder w/ like 12 pieces in it...all new...and we had 2 hours to learn them. and the sopranos had a descant to EVERY SONG. and we didn't have music for like half of them. practiced for two hours...i was next to the loudest seminarian EVER then thank god for joey coming late cuz he got to sit next to me and save my ears. so after two hours of practice, we went of to building 222 and got dinner. we had such a great table: Cate, Jess, Rae, and Elisa, the Gywnedd girls, and Joey, John, Shaatzy, and Christian: the LaSalle boys. It was great. We talked randomly, then the conversation divided to elisa and christian talking about life, shaatzy talkin to a tree, rae telling john about her HP fanfic, and Joey and I comparing Steubenville trips. Good time. Then we got into our tuxedos and went to the loft, practiced, then SAT WAITING for an hour. so long. We sopranos exchanged blonde jokes, and sign language cursing. Yes, the All-Catholic Chorus. The mass went surprisingly well, especially when we forgot the descant and made something up. Then the car ride home was fun! Rachel, Joey, John, and I babbled and waved at people in skyscrapers and listened to rock, did joey's hair, and rachel did her makeup. Then we went to Rae's for 10 minutes, and I played breakfast at tiffany's and time of your life on rae's guitar, rae played new york city, and joey "played" the trombone. john was great audience member :) we must have more jam sessions! well im out kiddies, and remember to drink your ovaltine.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
09:15 a.m. on Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Hey kiddies I'm home! The trip was awesome :) Saturday, we got to ride on a BOAT in the OCEAN w/ this really cool kid named Alex, and then at night we went to dinner at the yacht club. 2 significant things happened: 1) mike's bus driver, russ, was at the yacht club in a band playing on the deck. hahahahaha. 2) katie and i got hollered at by frat boys asking us to come over if we wanted "real men". hmm....where are the real men? then sunday, we were beachin it. mike and i tanned (mike your such a girlie girl and you know it), then we went for a long walk and talked. im really lucky to have such a great friend like mike. :) then monday was basically a rainy dreary day. mike and the rents went to the computer store and katie and ali layed on the deck, leaving moi alone in the house. so i called dan, and it was awesome to talk to him. i miss him a lot, but i'm going to jersey on saturday! whoreay! hopefully some thrifting and maybe even sister act :) then monday night the skies were clear, and we went to the pier w/ Bethany and Michelle. MUCHO FUN. Mike went on this upside down ride that he FLIPPED on, and i was too wimpy to go on. thats me, wimpy cate. but i went on dante's inferno w/ michelle and laughed my ass off, and all 4 of us went on the log phloon and sang opera. then we went on the floating cars thingy and mike and i impersonated the scottish workers. then yesterday, more beaching, then watching tv w/ mike. all in all, fantastic trip. And today is the basilica show. UGH. I don't feel like singing at all right now, but its gonna be awesome to sing for the cardinal. the ride home will probly be fun...me, rachel, joey, john, and jess...in 1 car....oh lord. Well i'm out...gotta church-ify myself. peace


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
08:39 p.m. on Friday, July 11, 2003

wow i was pretty pissed of this morning, wasn't it? hmm. so yesterday itself was awesome...just the night was terrible. Yesterday went to North Wales with Rachel, and Dae was supposed to meet up. Got there at 12:30 and went to Sweet Repeats...man, we bought all the pins and crap last year, so nothing left. I still have my Roxy Welcoming Committee pin, though...oh hell yes. Got these (in the words of brett) boss sneakers...black and white striped, faded. I heart vintage stuff. Plus a turquoise belt and a white belt...grand total: $5. Vintage shopping w/ Rae: priceless. Then Joey and John called from Driver's Ed next door, and we went to Tony's. They both got their permits :) Now I have new drivers to rehearsal...score!! Then I went to ballet...had to wait at PPAA doing bio for 3 freakin loooooong hours. I hate bio. Damn science... Then got put in the *shock* advanced group at ballet. What is wrong with everybody? Every teacher has put me in the advanced group, and I haven't taken dance before. Unbelievable again. Then went over to Ciara's w/ Kate and watched Just Married, and did the usual boy talk (no more boy bashing hahaha VC!), and Katie and I had a slurping contest. We're such manly men. GRRR. Oh yea and we decided that we like Dicky. Hard to explain...just nod your head and go on with your life. Then today was slow. And tired. Musical theater styles was ok...me being the only person over 13 wasn't the best part. I feel old. I just made a milkshake...gotta clean the kitchen before rents find out heh. And tomrrow morning--Avalon! hooray! Mikail is the shit. And our E. A. Poe poems..."when the rest of heaven was blue, of a demon in my view..." with that, im out kiddies. I'll be back Tuesday! Love, Cate


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:22 a.m. on Friday, July 11, 2003

Why try to make me happy? You're not helping. You think you're doing whats best, but it's not. I'm numb now, and nothing's going to change it. It's like falling. I want to cry, but I can't. And you won't let me play anything, so I have no way of calming down other than repeating past mistakes and chastising myself for wanting the attention i crave. it's not an issue of attention; it's my happiness on the line. and im not trying to be overly-dramatic. Stop telling me what I'm doing, and what I'm thinking, because how the hell do you know? You know nothing about me. You know nothing about what I'm feeling. And you ramble on and on about nothing trying to get the point across, but I've learned that you never do, and that all your rambling goes nowhere. I dont even listen anymore. And you know that my throat always hurts, so stop yelling up to me to come there and expect an answer of me yelling back, or expect instant gratification. You cannot just say "come" and expect me to be there. i need time to walk. i need to pace myself, my thoughts, my actions, my mind. i need to stop and think about what i truly want. the only concrete thing, i cannot have. its hard for me to face. but i wonder if thats really what i want, or if i just want the idae of having it. i'm not happy where i am, but i don't know anything that will change it. i wish i was prettier, because i feel so awkward. and people tell me that im beautiful and im just trying to get compliments. more people telling me what i'm doing without stopping and reazliing that they will never know. no one understands how other people are feeling. if a loved one dies, they always say "its alright, i know how you feel." i've done it myself, told people i knew how they felt. but i was wrong. i knew of a common situation. i can't imagine the kind of things they go through. i've come to realize that all reactions are different. and no one will ever truly understand a person. some people may never truly understand themselves. I need answers to my questions, and I'm not getting them. And I felt so close to God, my heart felt open, and whole feeling of chill and air all over my body, and I felt free. And I felt like laughing and crying and screaming and closing my eyes and just letting it in. I could talk to someone who would listen, and feel better. I'm losing that feeling. He's there, I know He is, but I'm becoming distant again. I don't want to go back to the way it was. I'm not alone. I'm one of the angry ones that people think fakes it, but I can't fake it hard enough. I hope that maybe someday people will realize that life wasn't easy for any of us. We need freedom, peace, love. I tell myself and others that I've never been in love. It's too big of a word, and much to complex. But in my heart, I feel that I was in love, just once. And I feel stupid, especially when people say to me, "You never loved him." Well, newsflash, I did. And it still hurts. I've convinced myself that the burn if gone, but the scars are still there, and everytime I feel something for anybody, they come back and throb with the reminders. i want to write it all down into one song. i wrote it into a poem, and it sufficed...for a day. And now I'm sad again. But right this second, I don't feel sad about that, or him, or anything else. I feel sad about feeling sad. I want to be happy. I want change. I want love. I want peace, personally and in the world. I want to feel closer to God. And now I want to sleep. I needed this rant to let out my feelings and come to terms with things. I needed this to get it out of my system, and jsut to write it down. i hate public rants, but there's no place else to put it since the piano is off limits. and my mother just came up talking and not LISTENING. NEVER LISTENING. I told her to please be quiet. She talked. I said i needed silence please. she talked. i told her i needed fucking silence, and she walked away. Why am I cursing again? It's been the worst lately. Oh this could go on forever. I need some sleep, just to be by myself, sleeping, not facing how I feel. Maybe subconsiously, there will be a solution. Answers.

Now if only I could say that all to my parents, and then walk away without their robotic responses to everything, I might feel better.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
08:14 p.m. on Wednesday, July 9, 2003

cute flirt
Cute Flirt

What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


hmmm...nice shirt...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
02:21 p.m. on Tuesday, July 8, 2003

I offer thanks to those before me that's all I've got to say/ Cause maybe you squandered big bucks in your lifetime/ Now I have to pay/ But then again it feels like some sort of inspiration/ To let the next life off the hook/ Or she'll say,/ "Look what I had to overcome from my last life/ I think I'll write a book"/ How long till my soul gets it right? --"Galileo"

So I hafta leave for dance in about 20 minutes...not too bad, tap and jazz, my favorites. Me, Alex, and YoYo were trying to get the combination last week...haha yea we weren't too shabby either. Saturday was TONS of fun (condom balloons and little ecuadorian boys hahaha) and Sunday was awesome; by 9 PM there were only 8 of us there, so we partnered off and had chickenfights, which joey and i dominated. and yesterday, babysat again, and went to THE PLAYGROUND (guitar center). Amazing store, got a new case, strap and picks. Hopefully new electric/acoustic Ibanez before the end of August. And tonight, i COMPLETELY forgot about jess's birthday so i hafta buy her a gift. and AVALON this weekend YAY!!! well im out, shall update lata


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
12:24 p.m. on Monday, July 7, 2003

columbia
You are... Columbia! You kick ass!! fun and loyal
all the way! You love your man dearly.. if not
worship him... and not to mention... You like
showing your boobs don't you? c'mon I know you
do... there is nothing wrong with that... hey
by the way you won't mind giving me a peek will
you? Of course not!

Which Rocky Horror Picture Show character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:33 p.m. on Saturday, July 5, 2003

Cate: shows how much you CARE :-P
Dan: eh. i'm not ashamed. i point the blame
Cate: butthead
Dan: nu uh you didn't
Cate: butthead
Dan: poopy face
Cate: dork
Dan: did you just call me a dork?
Cate: i believe i did, daniel
Dan: it's a yes or no question. did you call me a dork?
Cate: yes i did
Dan: SUCKA


yea we have a good relationship i'd say... ;)


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:32 p.m. on Friday, July 4, 2003

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:13 a.m. on Friday, July 4, 2003

yea you know the summer is boring when you're resorting to these...

The Ultimate Survey!
1. Name: cate
2. Nickname(s): obie, sumobie, cizate, poo, doinka, marty, shazi, buddy to the third...yea theres more
3. Alias(es): Helga, Caterina Mullionstrokovovovich, Homeslice (thankk you v. much Kate)
4. D.O.B. (Date Of Birth): 08.31.88
5. What Is Your Sign: virgo
6. What Do You Look Like: i'm kinda short, about 3 feet...and i'm really fat and bald...i have no teeth either...yea or i'm 5'7" blonde (unfortuneately) blue eyes...i look russian, right mike?
7. Parents: cathy and mark
8. Siblings: nope
9. Job(s): babysitting is an ART
10. Homestate: pennsylvania...IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
11. School: Gwynedd holla (that school is so bad for you)
12. Favorite Subject(s) english...anything but french
13. Least Favorite Subject(s): FRENCH...mon frere n'est pas jesus!!
14. Future School: That would be Georgetown U...or Lehigh
15. Future Goals: To get a record deal, or at least sell my songs and make moneyy
16. What I Want To Be/Do: marketing executive
18. Special Talents Or Skills: singing, songwriting, the harlem shake
19. Little Known Talent You Possess: well i was a gymnast i can do some pretty cool stuff...and im double jointed
20. Character Traits I Look For In A Person: honest, compassionate, loyal, friendly, sense of humor
21. Favorite Color(s): red
22. Favorite Color To Paint Your Toenails: dark red
23. Best Number In The World: 32 (varsity hockey, 7th grade represent)
24. One Pillow Or Two: try like 4
25. Pets And Names: nope
26. Hobbies: singing, dance, acting, songwriting, field hockey
27. Collect: bracelets...any kind
28. Dream Car: maroon mercedes convert, black interior....lets just say that the "caitlin's car fund" has $29 in it yess
29. Type Of Car You Drive: you should tell that joke at parties
30. Word Or Phrases You Overuse: "sweet deal", "I'm confused", "wait...what?"
33. Bacon Bits Or Croutons: bac-os!
34. Favorite Salad Dressing: russian
36. Favorite Shampoo Or Conditioner: herbal essences
37. Have You Ever Been Skinny Dipping: have you?
38. Do You Make Fun Of People: not usually
39. Do You Get Along With Your Parents: they're psychos...loving, but psychos
40. Have You Ever Been Convicted Of A Crime: i got put in time out for eating another kid's paste in preschool
41. Important Lessons You've Learned: Don't try to change things that are unchangeable, "just love and be loved in return" (bohemian revolutionaries)
42. Toothpaste You Use: something...its blue
43. Color Of Your Toothpaste: ITS BLUE
44. Color Of Your Toothbrush: clear
45. Favorite Food: anything japanese
46. Least Favorite Food: steak and seafood...i'm like a fake vegetarian that is forced to eat chicken
47. Favorite Ice Cream: mint choco chip (mike knows it haha)
48. How Do You Eat An Oreo: well i take ths chainsaw and...
49. Do You Eat Chicken Fingers With A Fork: no the spoon seems to work better
50. Do You Eat The Stems Of Broccoli: yes
51. Do You Drink Beer: bleh
52. Favorite Drink: fountain cherry cokes at diners...like the ones w/ the cherry syrup
53. Favorite Soda Pop: hahaha like the people from michigan i get it
54. Coke Or Pepsi: pepsi
55. Favorite Flavor Of Snapple: SNAPPLE!! that is strawberry kiwi and raspberry
56. What Is Your Favorite Milk: chocolate milk is amazing
60. Tattoos And Piercing: 2 piercings in each ear...was 3, long story
62. What Is Your Bedtime: 2:00 then my mother just turns off my lights
63. Favorite Perfume/Cologne: ibiza hippie
64. Favorite Stuffed Animal: speedy my turtle or Pillow, my pillow
65. Favorite Sport(s): field hockey and football!
66. Other Sports: swimming rocks...baseball's alright
67. Favorite Sport To Watch: football w/ the lazevnicks haha
68. Adidas, Nike Or Reebok: pumas, thank you :)
69. A Non-Sport Game That You Excel In: dream phone and chinese checkers
70. A Non-Sport Game Which You Enjoy: mall madness is pretty vicious at times
71. Silliest Person You Know: Ciara...some dorks? haha
73. Best Advice Ever Given: just be yourself
74. Coolest Experience: Stueubenville was amazing
75. Funniest Experience: the 4 AM/bikinis/raining/trampoline/water ballet incident at Ciara's
76. Most Humiliating Moment: when i took this survey
77. Scariest Experience: when the bald, no teeth gravitron guy was hitting on me last summer...i was pretty scared...and when steel force broke at the top when i was on it
83. Favorite Day(s): saturdays
84. Favorite Month(s): july! and october
85. Favorite Holiday(s): Halloween
86. Favorite Vacation: Tennessee hahaha no way...idk
89. Favorite Actor: christian bale
90. Favorite Actress: marilyn monroe
91. Favorite Adam Sandler Movie: BILLY MADISION...w/ happy gilmore close behind
92. Favorite Cartoon(s): rainbow brite
98. Favorite Musical: too many....Throughly Modern Millie, Kiss Me Kate, Grease, Ragtime, Jesus Christ Superstar, Footloose...
99. Favorite Animal(s): llamas
100. Favorite Movie(s): empire records, airplane, monty python, sixteen candles, MOULIN ROUGE
101. Favorite TV Show: that 70s show
102. Favorite TV Game Show: Crush hahahaha
105. Favorite Thing To Wear: jeans and a tshirt...
106. Favorite Book(s): feeling sorry for celia, white oleander
107. Favorite Magazine: allure
108. Favorite Fruit: any kind!
110. If You Could Shave One Thing Into Your Head What Would It Be: O'Doyle Rules
111. If You Could Dye Your Hair One Color What Would It Be: RED
112. If You Could Have A Tattoo Where And What Would It Be: lower back, chinese symbol for love
113. If You Could Turn Into Only One Animal Real Or Imaginary What Would You Be: I would trade places with Teddy and pee on him (hahaha mike)
114. If You Could Meet One Person In The World, Who Would It Be: marilyn monroe
115. Favorite Brand Of Gum: tubble bubble!
117. Is The Glass Half Empty Or Half Full: full
118. What Is On Your Ceiling: a fan and some stars
119. What Is Under Your Bed: everything
120. Nacho Cheese Or Cool Ranch Doritos: either are good
121. If You Were A Dog What Would Your Name Be: Corey
122. If You Were To Kill Someone, What Method Would You Choose: death by duck haha brett
123. Are You Right Or Left Handed Or Ambidextrous: right
124. Do You Type With Your Fingers On The Right Keys: no...
125. What Do You Wear To Bed: boxers and t-shirts
126. Have You Ever Been Attacked By A Dog: yes...BEAR...and now teddy
127. Do You Ever Save Your AOL Conversations: depends...
129. If You Could Be Anything In A Kitchen, What Would You Be: the microwave...so mezmerizing...
130. Guys, Would You Ever Ask A Girl For Her Shirt? Girls, Would You Do The Same To A Guy? if i knew him...andi was desperate...
131. If You Could Be One Gardening Tool, What Would You Be: a ho!! mike!!
132. What Kind Of Shoe Would You Be If You Had The Option To Be A Shoe: my blue and yellow pumas
133. If You Could Do One Thing To The Person That You Hate The Most, What Would It Be: id steal her ducks (you know who im talking about)
134. What Do You Think Of Chain Letters: they lie
135. Favorite Jell-O Flavor: cherry
136. Do You Prefer Jell-O Or Mud Wrestling: jell-o is alright
143. Something You Hate: posers yeaaaa


yea look who has no life!! yea so happy 4th everybody...tonight- carnival and fireworks w/ Sonya and possibly Brian and his band. Tomorrow - MIKAIL MULLINOSTROKOVOVOVICH'S PARTY. SUnday- Lauren's party where I owe Joey 27 hugs...man those fuzzies...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
09:47 p.m. on Wednesday, July 2, 2003

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd. last night was very eventful. so i got online and hooray for my favorite people being on. and AYW! Dan asked me out. I heart Dan. and whoopi goldberg.(and the fact that he's probably going to read this). counseled some more people, and i feel bad. this summer is being terrible to some people. it's looking up right now...How a perfect evening last night, and a lot of fun times to come (and this weekend...the grand fromage of all fun times). went to tonys/sweet repeats/pharmacy/PPAA/wishes with mike today. Fun...Mike and I relived last summer. And Mike was overly obsessed with the condoms at the pharmacy. Yay Mike--using protection. Smart kid. Then we hollered at some kids we knew last summer...fun times too. Then we dropped him off at home, and I went to hiphop. Hiphop = 1 hour intense workout = 85 stomach crunches, and stretching leg muscles. Surprisingly refreshing. I love hiphop...it's rigorous, but so worth it. And you feel like a bod man. ARRRRG. And now I'm in pain. Wow. But it's all good...my newfound abs of steel. and i learned this 'jenny on da block' dance which incorporates the harlem shake. HOT STUFF. thank you kim davidow!! and so i came home and went upstairs to read "the chosen" and fell asleep for 3 hours. and i am now goin to bed cuz a LOONG day tomorrow...hopefully more internet. But not too bad of a class, only ballet. G'nite.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:46 a.m. on Wednesday, July 2, 2003

yea i should be asleep right now. *shrug* im talking to mike about some mullet hair show on gameshow network, and checking out some ibanez guitars...my uncle's lending me his **FENDER**...amazing thing...i'm headed to guiatr center tomorrow, my mother's replacing my mangled guitar case (its duct taped shut now...gives you an idea) and hopefully starting up a "Caitlin's Ibanez" fund to buy this: OW OW

b-e-a-utiful...

yea I have no life...2 hours of hiphop tomorrow, then voice lessons...sounds exciting...and hopefully pizza/thrift store/wishes with mike! hazaa


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
11:37 p.m. on Tuesday, July 1, 2003

CAITLIN'S FUTURE:


Age 17: Graduates high school
Age 18: Goes to Georgetown University
Age 21: Graduates Georgetown University
Age 30: Legally changes name to Caterina
Witnesses Mike legally change his name to Mikail
Marries Mike
Changes last name to Mullinostrokovovovich
Age 31: Adopts two Russian Children named Mikail, Jr. and Caterina Natalia
Age 32: Adopts Desert child named Timothy Tiffani
Age 35: Joins Russian mob
Age 40: Starts Weezer Tribute band with Daniel, Mike, and Warren. Eats green licorice.



Life is good...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
05:28 p.m. on Monday, June 30, 2003

well maybe i'm too numb to notice
how you fell into my heart
sometimes it's easy
when you're falling apart...


Yea so I apologize about my vent yesterday...just had a really bad day. I'm not feeling any better, and God only knows who I'm apologizing to. I'm getting out tonight, movies, and I'm going to relax and enjoy it and not think about anything in my life. I feel like I'm falling apart, and I can't stop it. But I'm not angry, more helpless. This weekend should be good...carnivals, fireworks at night...possibilities...yea summer might be better. Hopefully. I'm really looking forward to Saturday...possibly my 3 most favorite guys+me+swimming+degrassi=good time? hopefully no awkwardness because of my relationship with any of them...I'm out. Tonight, there shall be guitar playing at the Obert-Thorn household, and much of it. Followed by the absence of Cate at the movies...call the cell. Goodnight.

Love, Cate


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
06:51 p.m. on Sunday, June 29, 2003

caitlin is referring to herself in the third person, because she does not feel like caitlin right now...and boy is she gonna vent...

Why is it that people are pushy? Like, seriously, why? Cuz pushy people make other people feel guilty and feel weird, even if they don't try to. And that's not all...loneliness bites the big one. I mean seriously, God put so many wonderful beings on the Earth to interact with each other...so why do some people feel lonely? I will again quote the wonderful Gin Blossoms:
"Outside looking in..."
That is the epitome of how I am feeling. And I don't know why. And then oh yes there is the vent about boys. Some of them are wonderful, and some of them have changed my life for the better. But why are there boys who are pushy? And boys who try to wear you down til you say yes? I have morals, everyone does, and they just look at aspects of life and shrug when maybe it's against my morals...and they keep asking, and keep pushing, and bringing trust into the matter when trust has nothing to do with STDs. There's my vent.

I need some Dashboard...or some "Oh Angel"...
He holds her when she cries
and wouldn't dream of telling lies
and he knows she's fragile
just like a child in his arms...
oh angel, dry your tears right now
angel, you'll get through somehow
I'll love you if I'm allowed
To share this heaven with you now...

(c) Caitlin Obert-Thorn....man oh man I need inspiration...

Sorry dor the ungodly long entry...Love, Cate


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:48 p.m. on Sunday, June 29, 2003

Another one...


With my eyes
I hold on ocean deep inside my heart
with my tears
I fill this sacred monuments of sadness
With each breath I take that's passing
through my chapped and bleeding lips
I'm alive
With my hands
I'm creating things to make my world seem real
And the casuality reality is started to unveil
With my heart
I can feel the greatest gift of all
just to love and to be loved is to survive
I'm alive


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:36 p.m. on Sunday, June 29, 2003

Your life is fading time is wasting, just another hopeless life/staring out into the sky hoping to make some sense/before this revolution in the deep parts of your mind/you concentrate on breathing and forget the silly lines/it's your life to do with as you please/but read this warning just in case you ever need to know the truth/there's good with the bad and reality may die/but the truth that comes with realization brings other truths to life/no goodbyes/no more lies

and another day is passing...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
12:57 p.m. on Sunday, June 29, 2003

Mario
You're Mario! You're over-obsessed with your body
and looks... but you can't help that. You're
hot and you know it. Keep up the good work.

Which Character on MTV's Undressed are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
10:31 p.m. on Saturday, June 28, 2003

May I just start off with saying that I'm in LOVE... ...with this song "Another turning point a fork stuck in the road/time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go/so make the best of this test and don’t ask why/it’s not a question but a lesson learned in time/it’s something unpredictable but in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life" i'm listening to that, in the dark, with the fan on. And I'm not thinking about anything at all...I'm really tired, and must be the daquiri (i love my father's birthday)...its funny, I'm looking forward to church in the morning. Like, a renewed kinda feeling...maybe I really did change. I told myself that I wasn't alone, and that everything was completely fine. I was wrong...but I realized that I needed that concrete, that something to believe in. I found it. And wow...it's like this whole revelation and for one second, everything makes sense. I realize what I'm feeling, about everything and everyone, and I'm not blanked out...I know things now. I understand, after talking to friends, what love really is. Like, platonic, romantic, and that set-in love for my parents. It all makes sense now. Hazaa! Wow that was a paragraph of complete rambling..I feel good! Today was magnificent...shall comment tomorrow, too mellow to write now... Love, Cate


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:10 p.m. on Friday, June 27, 2003

HERE YOU GO MIKE college
You're a college ho!

Whats your inner ho?
brought to you by Quizilla happy now? ;)


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:07 p.m. on Friday, June 27, 2003

HASH(0x848399c)
You're Lucas! The most intelluctually gifted of
the Empire Records employees, you know that
nothing is entirely perfect and can still
maintain that you did not go to Vegas and marry
a mobsters wife. Hooray!

Which Empire Records Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
02:46 p.m. on Monday, June 23, 2003

hey guys i'm home! well this past weekend was *amazing*...theres not other words to describe it. i met some of the coolest people i'll ever meet in my LIFE and it changed my life. i only knew 2 people when the trip started, and coming home, i know about 50 more people. We girls had to sleep in an arena on a HARD FLOOR and i got about 5 hours of sleep over 3 days...that was after our 2 AM bathroom parties and making up guy questions haha...and there was a lot of girls who sleepwalked...it was hysterical. We had lots of sessions and masses which were so upbeat and we danced and screamed...its how praise really should be. And of course, we had monkey shirts. Most people had "Just live it!" shirts and "Jesus power" shirts...but no, ours was "can you hear me now?" with a monkey. Oh yes, everyone loved it hahaa. And the Bob and Bob show was *hysterical* omg i don't think I stopped laughing. But adoration on Saturday night was so powerful. I've never cried over anything in my life, and I just lost it and couldn't stop crying...I felt so moved by the Spirit, and so did everyone. So there were fun times, and powerful times, but all the times made me realize how lucky I am to be surrounded by great friends and great people. We ate under the same tree everyday, waited in lines that went on for eternity, shouted "MONKEYYYYYYYYYY" and "can you hear me now?!?!?!?" like 800 times, met a guy named Dusty from Kentucky, talked about thugs with girls from Michigan, met the COOLEST kid from maryland, heard some really bad pickup lines (directed at us too!), hugged a lot of people, watched the safety video a lot, sang "breakfast at tiffany's", impersonated Jared, wrote in purple glitter pens, drove down SUNSET BOULEVARD (in OHIO), talked about the sacrament of field hockey, had 3 showers for hundreds of girls, played a mean game of frisbee, learned the harlem shake...oh yea, there was some mass in there...;) hahaha. It was truly amazing and I love all you guys!!! ok so that was my weekend. This week, I'm going to NYC on tuesday, and hopefullly hanging with dan! peace


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
08:29 p.m. on Thursday, June 19, 2003

grrr to parents. So my parents are being nazis, seriously, and i hate it. I'm going to Steuby in the morning, and it's gonna be *great* but im pissed at them!! I asked my dad earlier this week If I could go to the gallery with dan and he's like "sure its not too far" and i'm like "its on monday, ya know" and he's like "yea...monday..." and today he goes "what? you're getting back sunday night! you're not going to the city monday!" and denies saying anything about it. Then my mother thinks she's being a good mother by not letting me go anywhere on Monday since I'm getting back late on Sunday...I hate when they do that. They don't understand that I'm NOT GOING TO BE TIRED. Plus, they say i'm "too young" and are convinced I'll get mugged or something. WTF?! They're so fucking messed up AHH. Ok my vent is through. So Dan, if you read this, I'm soo sorry. But we can hang out soon...my mother felt bad and said she'll drive me to jersey sometime :) and we're going to hang out BEFORE warped and have tons of fun. And watch sister act cuz yes, its true, its the best movie. Got back from the carnival, saw everybody and ricky who was sad he didn't see my marvelous red hair. twas fun. ilupoo! Well guys, I'm leaving at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow and I won't be able to get online until Sunday night at like 11. So, byebye everybody! I'll miss you :) Love, Cate


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
03:55 p.m. on Thursday, June 19, 2003

yet again, I am bored. This is a neverending pattern, non? *shrug* got my hair undyed back to its natural color...and HOLY CRAP is it blonde. I never knew I was that blonde...I'm a little scared of myself...but oh well. Parents are letting me go to the carnival with mike, joey, and jenny tonight. And they're considering Monday...they said it's probably okay. AYH. hooray! So here are a few quizzes (what else? im a boring person) Hooligan Bear
Hooligan Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You Can Talk to Animals!

What's Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla INDIE1
you're indie!

How can I label you?
brought to you by Quizilla I'm going to Hell because I write slash fanfiction!
You write awful slash fanfiction and bring shame
upon your family. (Or you read it and
have thought about writing your own, and that's
bad enough.)

The shadow of your evil
will remain on this earth for as long as the
Web lasts.

You should be hanged in front
of angry villagers on Christmas Day, you sick
fiend!

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla
Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage &
Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances
are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses,
and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a
little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby!

What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla ^^holy crap...hahahahahaha


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
07:51 p.m. on Wednesday, June 18, 2003

I snuck on. I feel devious. Just got back from Mrs. Bostwick's viewing...the whole thing makes me appreciate having my mother more. I can't imagine how meg must feel, so please keep them in your prayers. Without my mother, I have no idea where I'd be or what I'd do. We have our fights, but I still do love her. So tonight I was SUPPOSED to be at the carnival...yea that's not happenin i guess. steuby is on friday, and i can't wait. I think this weekend's going to be great. Then Monday, hopefully I'll get to see Dan and go to teh gallery and have an awesome time. How is he such a cool guy?!? Well the parents are home, must run. By the way Mike, you sounded *wonderful* on Old Man River ;) peace Love, Cate mysterious
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
01:18 p.m. on Wednesday, June 18, 2003

i dyed my hair red. my mother flipped. end of story. basically im grounded from the computer right now...so no AIM or updating journals...email me, or call me 215 793 9340 PLEASE GUYS YOU KNOW IM DESPERATE lol peace Love, Cate


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
12:37 p.m. on Tuesday, June 17, 2003

I will mauled by a mob of midgets.

How will you die? Take the Exotic Cause of Death Test You are French
You are a Parisian.

What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla
Jude Law: you like them romantic and British with
beauiful green eyes.

Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
brought to you by Quizilla


what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd
Which Piercing are you?
wow i was extremely bored this morning. hmmm... back to homework...carnival tonight ;) maybe my gravitron guy will be there OH LORD I'd run away screaming. that was possibly the funniest part of the summer last year...when the old gravitron guy with no teeth was hitting on me...hmm...at least leo cam to the rescue when he was like "your ride's on me" and he said "she's riding on me...its a rough ride" and got on. OH MAN. that made my summer. well im out...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
12:34 p.m. on Tuesday, June 17, 2003

cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
12:14 a.m. on Tuesday, June 17, 2003

well today was interesting. joey came over at 12...we recorded the new smash hit "add session" and finished "beautiful dreamer" and 80-fied my song. oh man hahaha. then we walked on the gazelle and rollerbladed in my basement, then went upstairs and sang and danced til mike came. then we watched a lil tv and played a lil sims. then joey left and mike and i made plans w/ jackie and rob. but they fell through. so me and mike went to mont mall and had a blast. bought the hairdye...red hair hell yesss....and we saw a man or woman (cant tell??) on a motor scooter eating a chocolate banana. highlight of my day, watching mike laugh at the chocolate banana. then we got home and had like 30 calls from kate so we all spontaneously went to see finding nemo. it was great 2nd time around...and wednesday, 3rd times the charm ;). I'm kinda tired, think I'll sleep. Tomorrow, homework, then CARNIVAL NIGHTS and then ciara's sleeping over. hooray. the summer's finally looking up...


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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What was I really looking for
05:39 p.m. on Monday, June 16, 2003

Well it's my first entry. Yay for Mike. Yay for pitas.


And I wonder, "When will I learn?"


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